Zim in Shakespeare's Macbeth
by Darkmoose84
Summary: This was something I wrote awhile back but decided to put it here. Zim plays Macbeth, and, like the Royal Shakespearian theater, Gaz plays two roles, Lady Macbeth and Witch 1. Other cartoon characters involved. Ultraviolence, ZAGR obviously, and DATR.
1. Chapter 1

The 42nd Str. Grindhouse of presents

A Darkmoose84 film

William Shakespeare's

MACBETH

Mr. Herriman as Duncan, king of Scotland

Mac as Malcolm

Timmy as Donalbain

Zim as Macbeth

Danny Fenton as Banquo

Dib as Macduff

Lennox

Rosse

Menteth

Angus

Cathness

David Fenton as Fleance, son of Banquo

Danger Mouse as Siward, Earl of Northumberland, general of the English forces

Young Siward, his son

Mandark as Seyton, an officer attending on Macbeth

Deb as Girl, daughter of Macduff

English Doctor

Scots Doctor

Sergeant

Gir as the Porter

Old Man

Three Murderers

Gaz as Lady Macbeth and Witch no.1

Tak as Lady Macduff

Gentlewoman attending on Lady Macbeth

Mandy as Witch no.2

Olga as Witch no.3

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup as the three other Witches

Cthulhu as Hecat

Huey, Dewey, and Louie as the Apparitions

Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig,

William Shakespeare's Macbeth—Pretty and Dangerous

SCENE 1: A DESERTED PLACE.

The shores of Scotland look like a barren wasteland in the awful weather. Clouds stretch across the sky, tree branches stick out of the muddy sand, a fog stifles the grounds, and the brine smell fills the air. GAZ, MANDY, and OLGA are positioned around a black, boiling caldron, dressed in dark-colored schoolgirl uniforms, doing various things. Gaz is loading a program from her GS-2 onto her laptop, on which she presses the enter key, causing a runic circle to appear on the screen which then flies off the screen as a spectral image, hovers above the cauldron for a moment and then encircles it. Mandy is stabbing a voodoo doll in the shape of Irwin which she throws into the caldron. She then pulls the severed head of Fred Fredburger out of a bag, and, before she also throws it in, the head says something.

FRED: Umm…I like nachos. Does that stuff taste like nachos?

MANDY: Nay…Nay it doth not.

FRED: Oh…FRED FREDBURGER! FRED FREDBUR-

She then stifles his annoyance by throwing him in the soupy green of the caldron. Olga is dancing, twirling around in a majestic spin which causes various spectral images of glowing runes to appear around her. The runes then shoot up into the cloudy sky. It begins to rain. Gaz, Mandy, and Olga position themselves around the cauldron and join hands. A clap of thunder strikes between them. They begin speaking with each other, twitching their heads about as they face one another.

GAZ: When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

MANDY: When the hurlyburly's done, when the battle's lost and won.

OLGA: That will be ere the set of sun.

They each look off to see the sun slowly appearing between the clouds, giving a beautiful strobe of light within the rain, only to disappear behind the mountain.

GAZ: Where the place?

MANDY: Upon the heath.

OLGA: There to meet with Macbeth.

GAZ: I come, Graymalkin!

MANDY: Paddock calls.

OLGA: Anon.

They then face forward towards the soup.

ALL: Fair is foul, and foul is fair: Hover through the fog and filthy air.

They spin away from each other and evaporate into shadows, leaving the stillness of the evening twilight. The rain stops, and the sun appears for a brief moment from behind the mountain. Off in the distance, the noise of a battle dies along with the sunlight.


	2. Chapter 2

SCENE CUT!

The setting is the Dimmsdale theater.

Gaz walks away from the set and sees ZIM coming up to her behind the curtain.

ZIM: That was, urm, a great performance you gave, little Gaz!

Gaz just looks at him, not showing the true fact that she was complimented by his words. If had any less guard, she would show that she was blushing on the inside. DIB enters right behind her.

GAZ: Look alive, Zim. You're up next.

DIB: And don't try to screw this one up. You're not in rehearsal anymore.

ZIM: Don't be ridiculous, silly Dib creature! Zim's acting abilities are wonderful, and Zim has no problem in understanding the human worm baby condition of the Shaky Spear.

TAK walks by and grabs Dib's ear, pulling him back further behind the curtain.

TAK: And you need to continue to rehearse, dear.

DIB: Dammit, ow! Yes, hon, but I've been through my lines for weeks on end. I got an A in English in college.

TAK: And I'm here to make sure you do an A plus job on this production. You've got more lines than I do so…

Tak pauses and lowers her voice slightly as she says this. She pecks him on the lips.

TAK:…you need to study harder.

SCENE II: A CAMP NEAR FORRES

HERRIMAN, MAC, TIMMY, and COSMO stand at the edge of the hill with their various attendants, overlooking the results from the battle with the invading Irish. While the fight has ended in victory, the field of battle is a scene of gore: hacked limbs stick out in bloody disarray, headless torsos are commonplace, and the mangled living are being dragged away to face prosecution. JORGEN, a highly decorated sergeant in the finest armor Scotland could offer, is marching up the hill towards Herriman, cut and beaten, blood streaming down his face, most of it being his own.

HERRIMAN: What bloody man is that? He can report, as seemeth by his plight, of the revolt the newest state.

Mac jumps in front of Herriman, eager to explain.

MAC: This is the sergeant who like a good and hardy soldier fought 'gainst my captivity. Hail, brave friend! Say to the king the knowledge of the broil as thou didst leave it.

Jorgen pushes Mac aside to give his intended report. He is a man of little care other than the mission.

JORGEN: Doubtful it stood; as two spent swimmers, that do cling together and choke their art. The merciless Macdonwald--worthy to be a rebel, for to that the multiplying villanies of nature do swarm upon him--from the western isles of kerns and gallowglasses is supplied; and fortune, on his damned quarrel smiling, show'd like a rebel's whore: but all's too weak: for brave Macbeth--well he deserves that name--disdaining fortune, with his brandish'd steel, which smoked with bloody execution, like valour's minion carved out his passage till he faced the slave; which ne'er shook hands, nor bade farewell to him, till he unseam'd him from the nave to the chaps, and fix'd his head upon our battlements.

Herriman nods his head in understanding and giving a clear sign he is impressed with his captain's work.

HERRIMAN: O valiant cousin! Worthy gentleman!

JORGEN: As whence the sun 'gins his reflection shipwrecking storms and direful thunders break, so from that spring whence comfort seem'd to come discomfort swells. Mark, king of Scotland, mark: no sooner justice had with valour arm'd compell'd these skipping kerns to trust their heels, but the Norweyan lord surveying vantage, with furbish'd arms and new supplies of men began a fresh assault.

HERRIMAN: Dismay'd not this our captains, Macbeth and Banquo?

JORGEN:Yes; As sparrows eagles, or the hare the lion. If I say sooth, I must report they were as cannons overcharged with double cracks, so they doubly redoubled strokes upon the foe: except they meant to bathe in reeking wounds, or memorise another Golgotha, I cannot tell. But I am faint, my gashes cry for help.

HERRIMAN: So well thy words become thee as thy wounds; they smack of honour both. Go get him surgeons.

Jorgen limps off with some of the attendants to tend to his injuries. Another person is approaching in that of ROXAS.

HERRIMAN: Who goes there?

MAC: The worthy thane of Ross.

Cosmo flies up next to his face, clearly violating his personal space.

COSMO: What a haste looks through his eyes! So should he look that seems to speak things strange. It's the same kind of chaos my brain seems to run on.

Roxas pushes him back to a comfortable distance and then proceeds to talk.

ROXAS: God save the king!

HERRIMAN: Whence camest thou, worthy thane?

ROXAS: From Fife, great king; where the Norweyan banners flout the sky and fan our people cold. Norway himself, with terrible numbers, assisted by that most disloyal traitor the thane of Cawdor, began a dismal conflict; till that Bellona's bridegroom, lapp'd in proof, confronted him with self-comparisons, point against point rebellious, arm 'gainst arm. curbing his lavish spirit: and, to conclude, the victory fell on us.

Herriman actually shows a smile from between his mustache and whiskers, expressing his happiness at the news.

HERRIMAN: Great happiness!

ROXAS: That now Sweno, the Norways' king, craves composition: nor would we deign him burial of his men till he disbursed at Saint Colme's inch ten thousand dollars to our general use.

Herriman's look turns stern at Roxas's words. Having let out this information, Roxas is able to calm down a bit. Herriman puts on a smirk, despite the sternness, knowing what he needs to do.

HERRIMAN: No more that thane of Cawdor shall deceive  
Our bosom interest: go pronounce his present death,  
And with his former title greet Macbeth.

ROXAS: I'll see it done.

HERRIMAN: What he hath lost noble Macbeth hath won.

They leave this to head back to the camp, organizing a way to get the message to Macbeth and his wife. The director can be heard in the background, shouting for scene three to begin.


	3. Chapter 3

SCENE III: A HEATH NEAR FORRES.

Not far from the battle scene is a foggy, uncultivated area. Gaz and Olga gather from offstage around trees just off the dirt path, carving runes and performing their separate rituals. They're dressed in the same outfits they were in the previous scene. Gaz is playing her game and transferring the game's produced runes to her laptop, which then fly off the screen and attach to the side of her tree. Olga twirls around with a red glowing kris dagger, making marks with each spin. Mandy arrives onto the scene. Thunder claps.

GAZ: Where hast thou been, sister?

Mandy holds up her hands; in them are pig intestine. Blood is covering her arm, her fingernails stained red.

MANDY: Killing swine.

OLGA: Sister, where thou?

Gaz begins shaking with the fury of the remembrance of what happened.

GAZ: A sailor's wife had the newest version of Vampire Piggy Hunter in her lap, and play'd, and play'd, and play'd:--'Give me,' quoth I: 'Aroint thee, witch!' the rump-fed ronyon cries. Her husband's to aleppo gone, master o' the Tiger: but in a sieve I'll thither sail, and, like a rat without a tail, I'll do, I'll do, and I'll do.

MANDY: I'll give thee a wind.

GAZ (smiling): Thou'rt kind.

OLGA: And I another.

GAZ: I myself have all the other, and the very ports they blow, all the quarters that they know i' the shipman's card. I will drain him dry as hay: sleep shall neither night nor day hang upon his pent-house lid; he shall live a man forbid: weary se'nnights nine times nine shall he dwindle, peak and pine: though his bark cannot be lost, yet it shall be tempest-tost. Look what I have.

MANDY: Show me, show me.

GAZ: Here I have a pilot's thumb, wreck'd as homeward he did come.

Drums can be heard up the road. They look down the road to see ZIM and DANNY FENTON, riding down the road on horses, dressed in the heavy iron armor and red and black kilts. Zim has a look on his face, as if to ask, 'Why must I wear this?'

OLGA: A drum, a drum! Macbeth doth come.

GAZ, MANDY, and OLGA (in unison): The weird sisters, hand in hand,  
Posters of the sea and land,  
Thus do go about, about:  
Thrice to thine and thrice to mine  
And thrice again, to make up nine.  
Peace! the charm's wound up.

Zim and Danny arrive closer. They look up at the sky briefly.

ZIM: So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

DANNY: How far is't call'd to Forres? What are these so wither'd and so wild in their attire, that look not like the inhabitants o' the earth, and yet are on't? Live you? or are you aught that man may question? You seem to understand me, by each at once her chappy finger laying upon her skinny lips: you should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.

ZIM: Speak to Zim, er Macbeth, if you can: what are you?

Gaz gives a slight snicker at the line mistake, looks Zim in the eye, and winks, giving him the sign that she loves him.

GAZ (trying not to laugh): All hail, Macbeth! hail to thee, thane of Glamis!

MANDY (raising her eyebrow at Gaz's unprofessional attitude, despite that she would have done the same with Billy): All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, thane of Cawdor!

OLGA (Giving a look at both of them, then shrugging her shoulders): All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter!

DANNY: Good sir, why do you start; and seem to fear things that do sound so fair? I' the name of truth, are ye fantastical, or that indeed which outwardly ye show? My noble partner you greet with present grace and great prediction of noble having and of royal hope, that he seems rapt withal: to me you speak not. If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, speak then to me, who neither beg nor fear your favours nor your hate.

The three girls interrupt him.

GAZ: Hail!

MANDY: Hail!

OLGA: Hail!

GAZ: Lesser than Macbeth, and greater.

MANDY: Not so happy, yet much happier.

OLGA: Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none: so all hail, Macbeth and Banquo!

GAZ: Banquo and Macbeth, all hail!

MACBETH (Looking mostly at Gaz): Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more: by Sinel's death I know I am thane of Glamis; but how of Cawdor? The thane of Cawdor lives, a prosperous gentleman; and to be king stands not within the prospect of belief, no more than to be Cawdor. Say from whence you owe this strange intelligence? Or why upon this blasted heath you stop our way with such prophetic greeting? Speak, I charge you.

The three girls begin to dance around the now scarred trees. In between the twists and turns, they begin to look incorporeal and transparent until, finally, they vanish into nothingness.

DANNY: The earth hath bubbles, as the water has,  
And these are of them. Whither are they vanish'd?

ZIM: Into the air; and what seem'd corporal melted as breath into the wind. Would they had stay'd!

DANNY: Were such things here as we do speak about? Or have we eaten on the insane root that takes the reason prisoner?

ZIM: Your children shall be kings.

DANNY: You shall be king.

ZIM: And thane of Cawdor too: went it not so?

DANNY: To the selfsame tune and words. Who's here?

They draw their swords, unable to see the approaching figures through the mists. After a few more steps, the figures appear to be Roxas and AXEL, another nobleman. Zim and Danny sheath their swords.

ROXAS: The king hath happily received, Macbeth, the news of thy success; and when he reads thy personal venture in the rebels' fight, his wonders and his praises do contend which should be thine or his: silenced with that, in viewing o'er the rest o' the selfsame day, he finds thee in the stout Norweyan ranks, nothing afeard of what thyself didst make, strange images of death. As thick as hail came post with post; and every one did bear thy praises in his kingdom's great defence, and pour'd them down before him.

AXEL: We are sent to give thee from our royal master thanks; only to herald thee into his sight, not pay thee.

ROXAS: And, for an earnest of a greater honour, he bade me, from him, call thee thane of Cawdor: in which addition, hail, most worthy thane! For it is thine.

DANNY: What, can the devil speak true?

ZIM: The thane of Cawdor lives: why do you dress me in borrow'd robes?

AXEL: Who was the thane lives yet; but under heavy judgment bears that life which he deserves to lose. Whether he was combined with those of Norway, or did line the rebel with hidden help and vantage, or that with both he labour'd in his country's wreck, I know not; but treasons capital, confess'd and proved, have overthrown him.

Zim looks over into the woods, thinking something privately.

ZIM (thinking): Glamis, and thane of Cawdor! The greatest is behind.

He turns his head to Roxas and Axel and smiles.

ZIM: Thanks for your pains, my Tallests, er I mean my noble sirs!

Gaz is laughing offstage. Zim turns to Danny.

ZIM: Do you not hope your children shall be kings, when those that gave the thane of Cawdor to me promised no less to them?

BANQUO: That trusted home might yet enkindle you unto the crown, besides the thane of Cawdor. But 'tis strange: and oftentimes, to win us to our harm, the instruments of darkness tell us truths, win us with honest trifles, to betray's in deepest consequence. Cousins, a word, I pray you.

ZIM [Aside: Two truths are told, as happy prologues to the swelling act  
Of the imperial theme.--I thank you, gentlemen.

Zim looks off again.

ZIM: Cannot be ill, cannot be good: if ill, why hath it given me earnest of success, commencing in a truth? I am thane of Cawdor: if good, why do I yield to that suggestion whose horrid image doth unfix my hair and make my seated heart knock at my ribs, against the use of nature? Present fears are less than horrible imaginings: my thought, whose murder yet is but fantastical, shakes so my single state of man that function is smother'd in surmise, and nothing is but what is not.

DANNY: Look, how our partner's rapt.

ZIM [Aside: If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me, without my stir.

DANNY: New horrors come upon him, like our strange garments, cleave not to their mould but with the aid of use.

ZIM [Aside: Come what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day.

DANNY: Worthy Macbeth, we stay upon your leisure.

Zim turns his head back to them, confused looks on their faces. Danny is the only one who understands why Zim is the way he is at the current moment.

ZIM: Give me your favour: my dull brain was wrought with things forgotten. Kind gentlemen, your pains are register'd where every day I turn the leaf to read them. Let us toward the king. Think upon what hath chanced, and, at more time, the interim having weigh'd it, let us speak our free hearts each to other.

DANNY: Very gladly.

ZIM: Till then, enough. Come, friends, and follow Zim to the back of the stage!

The four of them proceed up the road, vanishing into the Scottish mists. The director is wondering why it's taking Gaz so long to get ready; after all, she does have the responsibility to her second role and needs to be in costume for it.


	4. Chapter 4

The film gets blurry and cuts out as the actors leave scene three.

SCENE CUT!!!

Zim is walking backstage with Danny, Roxas, and Axel. While they continue on behind the screen, Zim looks to his left, into the ladies dressing room and sees Gaz struggling with her dress. He smiles at the image of her stuggling to get the top of the dress on, Gaz wearing the long flowing lower half and only a black bra. As she twists her hip, she catches a glimpse of him looking at her. Their eyes meet from the distance, and he sees that in her pupils burns the fires of a thousand nuclear bombs going off, killing millions of innocents. Zim immediately turns his head and continues onward. Gaz continues to work with the dress while Mandy, at the other end of the room, is fixing her makeup and watching Chain Gang Women on the television near her. She always seems to be watching some sort of femme fatale or horror Grindhouse film whenever there is a television near her. She turns her head to look at Gaz.

MANDY: You've really got to watch yourself out there.

GAZ: I'm only reacting naturally. I think Witch 1 would have thought Macbeth was charming, at least in a twisted way.

MANDY: Yeah, and she also wouldn't have studdered over her lines or caused Macbeth to do the same.

GAZ: Will you get off my case?

Gaz nearly has the top of her dress on whenever the strap snaps yet again.

MANDY: All I'm saying is that you need to stay professional.

Mandy pushes her breasts up, trying to get them in place with the rest of her dress. She turns to Gaz. She's going to ask a question she wouldn't ask anyone else.

MANDY: Do my breasts look okay?

GAZ (annoyed): Yes. They look fine. You don't need to ask me. But can you help me with this stupid dress? I've got to be out there soon.

She walks over and helps her "sister" with the strap while everything on the set is about to begin.

MANDY: You're not scared about kissing Zim in front of the whole world.

GAZ: Me, scared? Of what?

MANDY: Actually showing your weak, romantic side on the camera.

GAZ (stumbles a little over her words): Of course not…Really.

Meanwhile, Zim is standing just outside of the set, awaiting the director's call, with Timmy, who just so happens to sound like Butch Hartman.

TIMMY: So, Zim, are you going to chicken out during your on screen kiss with Gaz?

ZIM (looking boldly): What speak you, human? Gaz and I have kissed before, up in space and on a beach. Why should I fear this?

Zim beings to lose that bold stance and looks at Timmy inquisitively.

ZIM: But this is going to be in front of the whole world, isn't it?

Timmy nods.

TIMMY: Yeah, but don't worry though. It took me some time before I could kiss Tootie in a full public eye. She helped me practice in front of Gaz whenever those two were roommates.

Zim turns a deeper green but heads onto the set anyways. A BACKSTAGE MANAGER catches Dib and Tak making out, her sitting on his lap, giving him the incentive to study harder and to overcome his stage fright he poorly hides to her.

BACKSTAGE MANAGER: Can someone tell Macduff and Lady Macduff they need to quit making out and stay focused?! We need to take this seriously!

Mac steps in.

MAC: They're obviously taking each other seriously.

Mac then steps out onto the set for the shoot.

SCENE IV. Forres. The palace.

The castle of King Duncan is quite marvelous indeed. The walls are high and fortified; beautiful green ivy grows here and there. Atop the palace walls stand guards, some to ready an arrow or spear while others are to give call whenever the king approaches, this being now. Enter Herriman, Mac, Timmy, Cosmo, and Attendants riding in on horseback. The stableman takes their horses as soon as they dismount and head into the king's court.

**HERRIMAN**

Is execution done on Cawdor? Are not  
Those in commission yet return'd?

Mac jumps in front of Herriman to be noticed.

**MAC**

My liege,  
They are not yet come back. But I have spoke  
With one that saw him die: who did report  
That very frankly he confess'd his treasons,  
Implored your highness' pardon and set forth  
A deep repentance: nothing in his life  
Became him like the leaving it; he died  
As one that had been studied in his death  
To throw away the dearest thing he owed,  
As 'twere a careless trifle.

**HERRIMAN**

There's no art  
To find the mind's construction in the face:  
He was a gentleman on whom I built  
An absolute trust.

Zim, Danny, Roxas, and Axel enter the court awkwardly, as they are tired from the ride to the castle and, in the case of Zim and Danny, having dealt with the weird sisters.

HERRIMAN

O worthiest cousin!  
The sin of my ingratitude even now  
Was heavy on me: thou art so far before  
That swiftest wing of recompense is slow  
To overtake thee. Would thou hadst less deserved,  
That the proportion both of thanks and payment  
Might have been mine! only I have left to say,  
More is thy due than more than all can pay.

Zim knells reluctantly before Herriman, while the rest have no problem with it.

**ZIM**

The service and the loyalty I owe,  
In doing it, pays itself. Your highness' part  
Is to receive our duties; and our duties  
Are to your throne and state children and servants,  
Which do but what they should, by doing every thing  
Safe toward your love and honour.

Zim stands back up quickly; the others take their time. Herriman is obviously about to say something important, so they listen in with intent.

**HERRIMAN**

Welcome hither:  
I have begun to plant thee, and will labour  
To make thee full of growing. Noble Banquo,  
That hast no less deserved, nor must be known  
No less to have done so, let me enfold thee  
And hold thee to my heart.

**DANNY**

There if I grow,  
The harvest is your own.

**DUNCAN**

My plenteous joys,  
Wanton in fulness, seek to hide themselves  
In drops of sorrow. Sons, kinsmen, thanes,  
And you whose places are the nearest, know  
We will establish our estate upon  
Our eldest, Malcolm, whom we name hereafter  
The Prince of Cumberland; which honour must  
Not unaccompanied invest him only,  
But signs of nobleness, like stars, shall shine  
On all deservers. From hence to Inverness,  
And bind us further to you.

**ZIM**

The rest is labour, which is not used for you:  
I'll be myself the harbinger and make joyful  
The hearing of my wife with your approach;  
So humbly take my leave.

Herriman pats Zim on the back and hugs him briefly, causing Zim to cringe slightly. Zim then bows slightly and quickly before turning to go.

**HERRIMAN**

My worthy Cawdor!

The film begins to get scratchy again, as if reflecting the conflicting mindset Zim is having. Zim stops a minute at the doorway. He looks towards the ground for a moment and begins running his hand along the hilt and handle of his sheathed claymore.

**ZIM**

[Aside The Tallest of Cumberland! that is a step  
On which I must fall down, or else o'erleap,  
For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires;  
Let not light see my black and deep desires:  
The eye wink at the hand; yet let that be,  
Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.

Zim stomps off the set in a hurry, obviously bothered by something. Whether it is the character's struggle for power or his growing fear of kissing on camera, the fact is thankfully unclear.

**HERRIMAN**

True, worthy Banquo; he is full so valiant,  
And in his commendations I am fed;  
It is a banquet to me. Let's after him,  
Whose care is gone before to bid us welcome:  
It is a peerless kinsman.

The attendants around the courtroom sound their trumpets again as Herriman and his cohorts leave the courtroom in their separate ways. The film gets even more scratchy as the director can be heard shouting for Gaz to hurry up before cutting out entirely.

SCENE CUT!!

Mandy is actually having trouble getting the lace tightened in the back of Gaz's corset. They are both standing up, dancing around the dressing room and starting to hop out the door. All of the sudden, the top slides yet again and goes downward on Gaz, catching hold of her bra as it does. Gaz panics as the bra… (SCENE MISSING. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.) Zim runs to the bathroom to wash up the blood from his nose where Mandy punched him. He still cannot believe that a ferret could have done so much damage to the set, that Noodle Boy would have bothered showing up, or that the Ham Demon would have destroyed all the cameras. At least, that bought Gaz a little more time to fix the corset.


	5. Chapter 5

SCENE V: Inverness. Macbeth's Castle

The scene opens on one of the inner hallways of the Macbeth castle. GAZ, having finally gotten the dress on correctly, playing the role of Lady Macbeth, is walking down stone hallway and reading a note, her decorative royal boots clicking against the floor with each step.

GAZ: 'They met me in the day of success: and I have learned by the perfectest report, they have more in them than mortal knowledge. When I burned in desire to question them further, they made themselves air, into which they vanished. Whiles I stood rapt in the wonder of it, came missives from the king, who all-hailed me 'Tallest of Cawdor;'…Dammit, Zim! You got it wrong again…By which title, before, these weird sisters saluted me, and referred me to the coming on of time, with 'Hail, king that shalt be!' This have I thought good to deliver thee, my dearest partner of greatness, that thou mightst not lose the dues of rejoicing, by being ignorant of what greatness is promised thee. Lay it to thy heart, and farewell.'

Gaz, reaches the door upon finishing the note and opens it, revealing her and Macbeth's bedroom. She walks over to the window and looks out, squinting at the sunlight. While she's not one who generally cares for sunlight, she gives a slight smirk as she looks out over the green meadows surrounding the castle, a path running down it, disappearing into the woods and joining whatever secrets they may hide. Her smile, however, isn't so much focused on the greenery as it is the note Macbeth had sent her.

GAZ: Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be what thou art promised…

She turns away from the window for a moment, her eyes un-squinting. There is an obviously evil twinge to them (Mandy had obviously 5practiced this with her).

GAZ: …yet do I fear thy nature; it is too full o' the milk of human kindness to catch the nearest way: thou wouldst be great; art not without ambition, but without the illness should attend it: what thou wouldst highly, that wouldst thou holily; wouldst not play false, and yet wouldst wrongly win: thou'ldst have, great Glamis, that which cries 'Thus thou must do, if thou have it; and that which rather thou dost fear to do than wishest should be undone.' Hie thee hither, that I may pour my spirits in thine ear; and chastise with the valour of my tongue all that impedes thee from the golden round, which fate and metaphysical aid doth seem to have thee crown'd withal.

SHELDON, a messenger, enters the room sheepishly, followed by his wife MISTY, who is playing a chambermaid who has guided him in. His knees wobble as he approaches Gaz, seeing the look on her face.

SHELDON: The k-k-king c-c-comes here t-to-night.

MISTY (whispering and patting him on the back): See? Was that so hard?

SHELDON (whispering): Along with stage fright, it doesn't help that that look on her face is very convincing.

Gaz looks over at them. Her eyes go back to normal, but her face seems to look bewildered and aggitated.

GAZ: Thou'rt mad to say it: is not thy master with him? who, were't so, would have inform'd for preparation.

SHELDON: So please you, it is true: our thane is coming: one of my fellows had the speed of him, who, almost dead for breath, had scarcely more than would make up his message.

GAZ: Give him tending; he brings great news.

Sheldon and Misty exit the archway.

MISTY: You did great, hon.

SHELDON: Yeah, but she scares me worse than Jenny on a bad day, and that's quite a bit.

They disappear down the hallway. Gaz turns and walks towards the center of the room. Despite the sunlight from outside, the room begins to get dark. Red lights seem to float off of the walls and ceiling like fireflies in a midsummer night, that is, if fireflies gave off an air of the sinister. Large red glowing runes begin to appear on the floor from seemingly nowhere, surrounding Gaz as if in a circle; among them are Wunjo, Thurisaz, Nauthiz, Isa, and Perthro. Gaz holds out her hand.

GAZ: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, and fill me from the crown to the toe top-full of direst cruelty!

She takes a knife from out of her boot and stabs her palm. She then turns her stabbed palm downward and lets a few drops of blood hit the now spinning runes.

GAZ: Make thick my blood; stop up the access and passage to remorse, that no compunctious visitings of nature shake my fell purpose, nor keep peace between the effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts, and take my milk for gall, you murdering ministers, wherever in your sightless substances you wait on nature's mischief! Come, thick night, and pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, that my keen knife see not the wound it makes, nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, to cry 'Hold, hold!'

She falls to her knees as light returns to the room. The red lights and runes vanish, and reality returns to normal. No sooner does this happen than Zim comes in the door. He looks down at Gaz, slightly puzzled, but shrugs it off. Gaz looks over her shoulder to see him there and stands up in a hurry.

GAZ: Great Glamis! worthy Cawdor! Greater than both, by the all-hail hereafter! Thy letters have transported me beyond this ignorant present, and I feel now the future in the instant.

She runs over to him, wraps her arms around his neck, and gives him a romantic, passionate kiss. He in turn wraps his arms around her waist and intakes every ounce of loving energy from her lips into his being. Even on camera, the love they share can be seen clearly. Just then, Gaz feels a string come undone in the back of her corset and knows exactly what it means. She continues to hold on to Zim to make sure her corset does not fall off again, this time on camera.

GAZ (mumbling): Keep holding me, okay?

ZIM (oblivious): Huh?

GAZ (mumbling): Just keep going.

He continues to hold her close to him. It simply makes it look more romantic rather than detracting from the scene.

ZIM: My dearest love, Duncan comes here to-night.

GAZ: And when goes hence?

ZIM: To-morrow, as he proposes.

Gaz turns her face up at him in wonderment. She sees something in his eyes.

GAZ: O, never shall sun that morrow see! Your face, my thane, is as a book where men may read strange matters. To beguile the time, look like the time; bear welcome in your eye, your hand, your tongue: look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under't. He that's coming must be provided for: and you shall put this night's great business into my dispatch; which shall to all our nights and days to come give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.

ZIM: We will speak further.

GAZ: Only look up clear; to alter favour ever is to fear: leave all the rest to me.

They both stop, expecting the film to cut. The film keeps rolling.

ZIM: So, what now?

The director says they are supposed to unlock their embrace.

GAZ: I have a slight problem; yet another damn wardrobe malfunction.

The director says that is perfect, especially for what the scene calls for next.

GAZ: What? Oh, Hell no. Not on the camera. I'm not that kind of woman.

ZIM: That wasn't even in the stupid contract.

The director says that's what the script calls for.

GAZ: Well, you can take that script and shove it right up your…

The film cuts out again. The next thing the viewer sees are Zim and Gaz, laying in the royal bed with bewildered, haunted faces.

SCENE CUT!

ZIM (whispering to Gaz): Do you think this was a fair enough compromise? To suggest our characters did something?

GAZ (moaning): Yes. He gets to keep his soul…for now.

Gaz and Zim both get up, get dressed, and walk backstage. Gaz still has to cover up since her top broke. Dib and Tak are sitting right next to the set. Dib is fighting to hold back a nervous laughter. Gaz points at Dib and looks him in the eye.

GAZ: Don't say a word. Not one word, Dib.

Gaz walks off. Dib is shaking in every limb from her icy stare.

TAK: Good boy, Dib, for listening to your sister's words of wisdom. See? You're beginning to understand women.

Tak kisses him on the cheek. In the end, Dib knew he was going to take fault for something; now, he is not quite sure how to feel about it.


	6. After scene 5 part 1

Having gotten redressed in her heavy black leather jacket, black long sleeve shirt, a short black and red plaid skirt, black thigh high stockings, and black ankle warming boots, Gaz stormed out of the studio, angry at what that idiot director told them to do. It's not so much that she minded the accuracy of how married couples (however evil) would act after having not seen each other in so long, or for that matter that it was with Zim; the fool director had just sprung it on them without any warning. She wasn't about to give him the pleasure of doing it without just a little bit of warning.

"I guess," she growled to herself, "the idiot is so used to stupid whores at his whim."

"Gaz!" Zim shouted behind her, wearing a red and black sweater, black slacks, a scarf, and a black wig. "Hey…sorry that guy was being a jerk. If he wasn't paying us so high, I would have vaporized him."

Gaz let the feeling of her anger at the director slide from her mind as there was something that needed doing. As to what purpose, she did not know. But she needed to go and make it fast.

"It's okay, Zim," she reassured him in the calmest voice she knew how to conjure, "At least what we get paid will help dad. Right now, I need to run an errand."

"Errand?" Zim asked, confused, "But it's evening. You should be heading home to rest."

"No," Gaz said plainly, "I need to go. You're welcome to come with if you like, but this is something that needs to happen now." Zim didn't question; he simply shrugged and followed her.

The cool air of December had set in the area, despite the lack of snow. That was about to change in the coming weekend, but now, at least, the roads were clear for driving. Wind blew past them both, bringing a euphoric feeling of the season being upon them and memories of Zim's poor attempt at stopping Christmas crawling back into their brains. They still did wonder what happened to that Santa suit. They wouldn't worry themselves with it; it was silly.

Gaz and Zim both got in Gaz's car and began at high speeds down the road to…the supermarket? Zim was even more confused now.

"Come on," Gaz said, getting out in a hurry. Zim had no choice but to follow suit. He walked in the front door, seeing all the pathetic human consumers running this way and that to get in line, stocking up to fill their pantries for that ever so sickeningly joyful time of year where everyone goes out and buys crap for each other. He noticed Gaz over near the meat section and walked over to her.

"Oh I hope she's not going to fling that thing at me," Zim said to himself, "Steak gives me burny blisters."

Sure enough, there in Gaz's hands was an extraordinarily large steak.

Zim's eyes went wide with fear.

She walked passed his idiotic stance to the line. He followed her.

"Umm," Zim stuttered a bit, "why are you buying that?"

"I have reason," Gaz retorted, "and I made sure to get the kind without the chemical additives. They newly arrived today." So, Zim and Gaz waited through the line of idiots until they finally came to the cashier, whose head looked like it was about to pop like a hot dog in the microwave.

"Is this all for you?" the clerk groaned out.

"Yes," Gaz said simply. She then tilted her head to the side. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Please," the clerk said under his breath, "just kill me."

They made their purchase and exited through the doorway, only to hear an explosion, followed by two clerks, five old ladies, and two dogs howling in agony. Zim and Gaz paid it no mind, as that was all part of the Christmas season. The year 2020 would be no exception.

The car sped down the road, "Negative Creep" by Nirvana blaring out of the speakers. Zim had no idea where they were going, but it looked like the car was leaving civilization. The reds, browns, and purples of the trees that still had leaves, lining the highways, were lit by the sun in such a way to suggest the forest was on fire but without smoke. They were truly masterworks of nature, showing off a blaze of glory before lying dormant for the season to change.

"Here," Gaz said, "We're getting out here." She stopped the car, got out and walked over to the wooden fence by the side of the road.

"Where are we?" Zim asked, getting out as well.

"The Dimsdale nature preserve," Gaz responded and hopped the fence. While still in a confused state, Zim couldn't help but look as her skirt moved up, revealing black and red satin panties. And while he did not mind the fact, he couldn't help but wonder why she was wearing such a short skirt this time of year. At least her boots would warm her, right?

Zim got his brain in order, shook off his stupid perversion, and hopped the fence to follow her.

He saw her move through the trees in a brisk walk, moving through the white tree trunks. He darted this way and that but eventually caught up to her.

"Zim," Gaz said softly, not making too much sound, "give me your gloves."

"What?" Zim asked, "Why? They're mind."

"Just do it," she answered, "or I'll tear your jugular out." He did as he was told and handed them to her. She immediately put them on, and Zim stuffed his hands into his pockets. They continued on, in silence now, until Zim saw what looked like a ball of white fur near a tree. Gaz got closer to it, while Zim thought he should keep his distance and observe.

This ball of fur was none other than a white rabbit, its legs appearing to have taken heavy injury, the reason for its stillness. Judging by the animal's lack of body construction, it was clearly not wild but domesticated; someone obviously missed this little fellow. No sooner had Gaz gotten near it than out of the bushes came three Mackenzie Valley wolves, which had migrated from Yellowstone National Park after the government decided to take liberties with the northern portion's lumber. They growled at her, staring at her with both an air of vengeance and ravenousness. She stared at them right back.

"Look here," Gaz said plainly to them, emotions just deadened, as if ice itself shot through her veins, "this isn't your prey; this is someone's pet. So back off, before I tear each of your legs off and have you make of meal of them."

The pups backed down with a whimper. They could tell Gaz was different than a lot of humans they had encountered. Gaz lifted her frightening gaze from them, retrieved the meat from the grocers from her pocket, and threw it to them. They were, after all, simply hungry, having not fed or hunted in days. It was not a surprise to Gaz, as America had taken so many liberties with resource consumption as of late, thus destroying these wolves habitat and food supply.

The wolves, who were now focused on and grateful for what Gaz had given them, ignored the fact that Gaz was now picking up the poor, shivering rabbit and taking it back to the car. Zim saw all of this in amazement and, for that matter, even more confusion. Why had she done this? This was not like her.

"Hold him," Gaz ordered Zim as they got in the car. He put his gloves back on and cradled the rabbit in his hands, still in a state of bewilderment. He looked at the animal for a minute, seeing the creature's legs, assessing that this thing must have come a long way. For a moment, he felt sorry for it.

No, he thought, don't give way to sympathy. The Irken Armada rejects such sentimentality.

Gaz parked the car in front of the ranger's station and took the rabbit from Zim.

"We're going in now," Gaz said, "Are you coming?" Zim just nodded, pure curiosity overtaking him. They walked up the cedar steps to the front door of the wooden cabin. Inside was a park ranger, a little girl and her mommy.

"Isn't there anything you can do?" the mother asked as the little one sobbed.

"I hate to tell you ma'am," the ranger said, taking her hat off, "but for a lost rabbit, there's not a lot we can do. It's nearly impossible to distinguish the wild from domesticated out here."

"But…" The mother responded.

"Look, mommy!" the girl exclaimed, "That lady has Mike."

"Be careful," Gaz said, handing the bunny to the mom, "his legs are hurt."

"Yeah that's him," the mom said, relieved, "I recognize that weird brown patch on his chest. Thank you so much. Where did you find him?"

"My boyfriend and I found him by the side of the road," Gaz answered, "we stopped and thought it might be a good idea to bring him in."

"Thank you both so much," the mother said, looking down to see the smiling face of the child, "You've made my daughter's day. If there's anything you need…"

"No thank you," Gaz said, "Please, don't mention it." With that she turned to go.

"Oh thank you both," the woman said, "Merry Christmas to you both, or whatever you celebrate, and God bless." The woman's statement sounded different than most, as it was not just empty words. She was truly grateful, and that was what mattered.

"Come, hon," Gaz said to Zim, and both proceeded to the car. They began driving down the road back towards town.

"Was it your gift," Zim asked, "that told you about the rabbit?"

"Yes," Gaz said, plain and matter-of-factly. "We're stopping here. I want to walk." She parked the car near a pathway through the woods. While there was still sunlight, Gaz wanted to take advantage of it. Her regret was that she forgot her GS-5; the woods would be a substitute for that.

They began walking along the dirt path, looking at the setting sun through the trees. The golden light brightened each leaf; the ones that weren't dead made shining patterns on the ground, while a majority had either fallen or were casting small shadows.

"I guess I don't understand," Zim said.

"Understand what?" Gaz asked.

"Why would you drive all this way to save a wounded rabbit?" he asked. "It doesn't seem like you."

"I guess I didn't tell you," Gaz said, "There's some truth to what Dante said about straying off the beaten path of life, finding yourself lost in a dark wood. Throughout most of my life, I just didn't care about very much. I overindulged myself in gaming and reading, without focusing on anything majestic or mystical. When I was 14, my 'gift' changed that. I began seeing most of what Dib rambled about, thus, it became more real to me. Of course, when you met me, I didn't even know how to treat it; I was just a spirit medium, but it generally ended up with me helping the ghost, because the people were too stupid not to mess with their habitat, namely with that idiot hobo."

She paused; she had not spoken this much to anyone in so long. But then she continued. "But after the ship exploded, whenever we were falling to Earth, I saw something, something fantastic. The spirits of the dead were darting this way and that, flying to their final destinations. But the image of it, for whatever reason, gave me a glimmer of the beyond. Even on the beach, my mind was still focused on it. From that, I decided there was a purpose behind this gift. If I get a sense of something, I'll go take care of it."

"And what about me?" Zim asked. "I'm not exactly the most caring type, especially towards humans. Why are you and I together or how you humans say 'an item?'

"I saw it in you, Zim," Gaz said, "It was that very same day. Make no mistake though; I still have a dark air, a dark aura if you will, about me and won't hesitate at kicking ass when I need to. But I think, upon seeing that, that you and I are meant to be linked somehow."

Gaz stopped talking. They were both silent, staring into each other's eyes. Zim could see what she was talking about, although he couldn't put it into words; of course, nor could Gaz. They desired to feel it, to swim in it, bathe in each other's light. Neither could resist any longer, embracing and kissing, long, deep, and loving. They fell to the forest ground into a pile of naturally fallen leaves. It was as if Nature herself had prepared a bed for them. A bed for them to make love in. They felt each other's warmth, pressed against each other, wrapped in each other's splendor, their light, their auras, their souls connecting, swimming in infinity.

Moments later, they lay next to each other, still in the bed of leaves. They both were able to smile at each other, something no one else could see but them. The sun was now blocked by a dark cloud, but neither really noticed. Not until a snowflake hit Zim's cheek. Zim's eyes averted, and he wiped it away. They both sat up and looked at each other again.

"First snow of winter," Gaz said slowly, "and we're here to see it. We should get back." They both walked back to the car, arms wrapped around each other. They both got back in the car and drove back into town.


	7. After scene 5 part 2 Scene Six

"We are the Dead. Short days ago/We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,/Loved and were loved, and now we lie/In Flanders fields." – John McCrae, "In Flanders Fields"

"Everything dies, baby; that's a fact/But maybe everything that dies someday comes back." – Bruce Springsteen, "Atlantic City"

Dib stood over the grave, the sullen look clinging to his face the same way the wind blew his trench coat to his back. His black boots sunk into the earth, seeming to reach for something underneath. All Tak could do was stand there and watch her love in his mourning. She looked beautiful today, wearing a long black ruffled skirt, a black and purple Aerosmith shirt (she came to like their older stuff quite well), and black leather jacket. But no matter what she would say, wear, or do, she could not distract Dib from his thoughts, not today.

Today was her who lay in the ground's anniversary. Gaz had to be on the set, this being the reason she wasn't with them now; she would visit the departed later in the day.

As Dib looked at the grave, he began remembering what life was like with her, what little he could; he was only three when it happened.

…

They looked out over the city; from the roof, they could see everything, yet the lights of the city did not detract from the real focus of why Dib and his mother were there in the first place: to see the stars. Everything was clear. Clear enough for them to see on into the darkness, into the infinity of space, all the way to the very center of the glorious Heaven.

"Mommy," Dib said; he was unusually sedate for a three year old, "there are so many stars."

"Yes there are," his mother said, very pregnant with his sister; between her and her husband, she was the dreamer. "And you know what? I think there are other people out there besides us in those stars. What do you think?" She playfully poked her finger on the little boy's nose and tickled him.

"I dunno," he responded back in a giggle, "God really made more people?"

"Well," she said, "you don't think It would waste space, would you?"

"No," Dib said. He still wasn't old enough to fully comprehend what his mother was saying; but he was having fun. She always made learning fun for him; he was, after all, very advanced for his age, and his mother had such a creative soul to help his young mind flourish.

The day he was about to have a new baby sister, something bad happened, something very bad. She had to go away from him. He didn't get upset with the new baby, but always wondered who it was that he could blame for taking his mommy away.

Her going away took place near a field in Colorado, which was also near where she was born. But while there were obviously plenty of people there, even after the funeral, Dib looked around and couldn't see any of it. He felt so alone. While he sat next to his dad, who was trying to comfort his baby sister (who really did not need it as much as he thought; she hardly ever cried), he suddenly got up off of his seat and ran to the field. His dad got up, Gaz in his arms, and ran after him, yelling at him to come back. Dib couldn't hear him; silence and emptiness clouded his young mind. He found an empty spot in the field, fell to his knees, looked up, and cried out.

"Mommy," little Dib shouted, "don't leave me here alone. Take me up with you! Take me into the stars with you!" The first to hear his cries were the birds that just happened to have landed on the ground near him. Upon hearing it, however, they soon burst forth, flying over and around him, off into the air, off to the heavens and the stars where his mother went. The sun itself seemed to shoot out into a four point cross, which, by some stretch of the imagination, also looked like a bird to which all of these other birds were flying. Perhaps his mother was still there with him, only this time as a bird. He wanted to be a bird too. But there was something else about it as well; where they were flying, he wanted to travel. "Take me up fast, mommy! I want to join you and your alien friends!"

And so he looked up into the sky and saw beyond the blueness, beyond the stars, facing now the life that lay in that infinite blackness.

Just then, his dad grabbed him up and scolded him for running off, a tear in his eye.

…

Since then, however, Dib's desire to see the beyond and what was behind the beyond did not leave him. He discovered parascience, parapsychology, the supernatural, and the preternatural later in life and thus developed a duty towards it. His mother, despite being unlike his father, who was strictly fact, believed in all of it, and such a thing as this brought him close to her. He had told Tak about all of it one night as the two lay on the couch in his apartment.

Tak could see how much he missed her. She too looked down at the tombstone and read it; "Mrs. Evelyn Membrane, wife and mother" was inscribed across the front. She then walked over to him and put her arm around him.

"She meant a lot to you, didn't she," Tak said.

"Yes," Dib said, "I got to know her for a little while, then she left." She lifted her hand, gently turned his face towards hers and kissed him.

"While mine is not a world from which there is much sympathy," Tak began, "I do understand this persistence of loss you must feel. I can't imagine what you must be going through and wouldn't dream of it. But permit me to say one thing; every person in the universe is a domino, each touching and affecting another person's life. She affected your life in such a way that made you the man I love today, and I would have loved to have met her. But I don't believe she would want you to lament over her for too long. There's nothing you can do when you're the next in the domino line but to go out and touch another person's life." There was another long pause as he looked into her soft, violet eyes. There was something he could see in them, not just the light of her spirit, or the light of their love, but now something different, something he knew he should have seen for the longest time. Dib saw in Tak's eyes the spirit of his mother. He leaned in and kissed her, long, deep, and passionate.

"You're right," Dib said, a smile returning to his face, "And we should actually get going now. The director's probably going to be pissed."

"Oh don't worry about it," Tak said, pulling something out of her pack. It was a white gun, yet it didn't quite look Irken, nor did it look very deadly. "I'll just open a portal to the set."

"What is that thing?" Dib inquired.

"This is the aperture gun," Tak explained, "I got it after my ordeal with the Aperture Research Center, which is actually a branch of Black Mesa that works with portals. See, it was back in 2007, and, being broke at that time, I needed some money. Earth money is apparently worth a lot on some planets…although I have no idea why. Anyways, the computer running the test, GLaDOS, ended up becoming homicidal, forcing me to take drastic measures. No big deal; they weren't actually going to pay me, as I learned later, instead giving me chocolate cake."

"Wait," Dib began, "You were back on Earth, and you didn't call me?" Tak looked down for a minute.

"I wanted to, Dib," she said, "I was just scared. I was afraid you were still upset with me about what I tried to do to your planet…and although the thought of firebombing zim's house did cross my mind, I had to stay focused on the test."

"I wouldn't have turned you away," Dib said, "I missed you, Tak. I put that aside, realizing you were indeed trying to get back at Zim, who I too disliked. Maybe, if you and I had talked further, we could have formed our own plan against him."

"Yeah," Tak said, smiling, "But that doesn't matter now. What matters is that we need to get to the filming and fast." With that, she fired a blue portal on the walls of the nearby church.

……

SCENE VI: BEFORE MACBETH'S CASTLE

The sun over Scotland shines down upon the magnificent yet oddly creepy castle of Macbeth. Herriman, Mac, Timmy, Cosmo (in human form), Danny, Axel, and Roxas wait on horseback along the dirt path leading up to it. They wait for something.

The director knows what, and he's not happy about it. He gets up shouting as to where the hell Dib is.

MAC: He said he had something to do. He'll be right back.

The director asks what could be so damn important that they have to delay filming. All of the sudden, a sound can be heard behind the castle setup, within one of the portable closets. The crew, including the cameraman, rushes to see what it could be. Familiar voices emanate from behind the door.

DIB: The other end was here?

TAK: At least it's convenient. Now just let me put this thing in my…

The rest of the sound is muffled, while everyone looks confused. There are some obvious sounds of struggle, but as to what kind of struggle is anyone's guess. All of a sudden, the door flies open, and Dib and Tak fall out, Tak lying on top of Dib. They both look up to see the crew, both blushing with embarrassment.

The director says that if the two of them want to fool around while there's work to be done then they should just…but then his voice starts trailing off into disfigured shouts, one of them sounding like "granite munchkin." (It's left to the viewer to figure out what that is). The camera goes off and starts back up to show Dib in armor atop a horse, along with the rest of the actors. The director inquires, and it must be said in so few words, if Dib is finally ready to begin.

DIB (nervously): …Yes.

They all look up at the castle in awe.

HERRIMAN: This castle hath a pleasant seat; the air nimbly and sweetly recommends itself unto our gentle senses.

DANNY: This guest of summer, the temple-haunting martlet, does approve, by his loved mansionry, that the heaven's breath smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze, buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle: where they most breed and haunt, I have observed, the air is delicate.

Gaz then exits through the archway from the courtyard to greet the men. There is a devious smile on her face.

HERRIMAN: See, see, our honour'd hostess! The love that follows us sometime is our trouble, which still we thank as love. Herein I teach you how you shall bid God 'ild us for your pains, and thank us for your trouble.

GAZ: All our service in every point twice done and then done double were poor and single business to contend against those honours deep and broad wherewith your majesty loads our house: for those of old, and the late dignities heap'd up to them, we rest your hermits.

HERRIMAN: Where's the tallest…good heavens, it's rubbing off on me…thane of Cawdor? We coursed him at the heels, and had a purpose to be his purveyor: but he rides well; and his great love, sharp as his spur, hath holp him to his home before us. Fair and noble hostess, we are your guest to-night.

GAZ: Your servants ever have theirs, themselves and what is theirs, in compt, to make their audit at your highness' pleasure, still to return your own.

HERRIMAN: Give me your hand; conduct me to mine host: we love him highly, and shall continue our graces towards him. By your leave, hostess.

Each of the men dismount, and Herriman takes Gaz's hand for her to guide him in. Dib looks offset to see Tak sitting in the grass, looking at him with a smile. She blows a kiss his way, and he responds by blushing. To her, he looks like a regal knight, majestic in his own right; he is her knight, prevailing over the sorrows of the world and bringing light and love to her life, no matter what planet she's on.


	8. Scene 7

SCENE VII: Macbeth's Castle, just outside the dining hall

The butler and servants are darting this way and that through the stone corridor. Zim is sitting in a chair just outside of the door with an anachronistic laptop in his lap. The director looks at him crossly, exclaims "A Tale of Two Cities", and shouts at Zim to stop looking at Sparknotes. Zim shuts it with a frightened look on his face but then proceeds to recite his lines that he procrastinated on rehearsing.

ZIM: If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly: if the assassination…could…what was it?...Trammel up the consequence, and catch with his surcease success; that but this blow might be the be-all and the end-all here,…yes, I'm starting to catch on…but here, upon this bank and shoal of time, we'ld jump the life to come. But in these cases we still have judgment here; that we but teach spoody instructions, which, being taught, return to plague the invader…was that it?...: this even-handed justice commends the ingredients of our poison'd poop cola to our own lips. He's here in double trust; first, as I am his kinsman and his subject, strong both against the deed; then, as his host, who should against his murderer shut the door, not bear the knife myself. Besides, this…Herr…er, Duncan hath borne his faculties so meek, hath been so clear in his great office, that his virtues will plead like angels, trumpet-tongued, against the deep damnation of his taking-off; and pity, like a naked new-born worm baby, striding the blast, or heaven's cherubim, horsed upon the sightless couriers of the air, shall blow the horrid deed in every eye, that tears shall drown the wind. I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent, but only vaulting ambition, which o'erleaps itself and falls on the other. YES! I DID IT!!! I HAVE CONQUERED THE FILTHY MONOLOGUE WITH MY SPEECHCRAFT OF DOOM!!!

Upon Zim's exclamation of his final line, the extras stop and stare at him, bewildered and off guard, yet the camera does not stop rolling. Zim becomes quiet, puts his triumphing arms back down to his sides, and sits back down.

ZIM (initially coughing): I am normal.

This loud triumph, however, was Gaz's cue to come in. She walks in through the archway of the dining room.

ZIM: How now! what news?

Gaz leans in, kisses him on the cheek, and leans in close to his ear, yet answers in a very harsh tone.

GAZ: He has almost supp'd: why have you left the chamber?

ZIM (surprised yet not at the same time): Hath he ask'd for me?

GAZ (frustrated): Know you not he has?

ZIM: We will proceed no further in this business: he hath honour'd me of late; and I have bought golden opinions from all sorts of people, which would be worn now in their newest gloss, not cast aside so soon.

Gaz looks even more irritated at Zim's impotence of mind that she pulls him off of the chair and drags his wrist down the hallway to a more private corner. She then pins him up against a wall.

GAZ: Was the hope drunk wherein you dress'd yourself? hath it slept since? and wakes it now, to look so green and pale at what it did so freely? From this time such I account thy love. Art thou afeard to be the same in thine own act and valour as thou art in desire? Wouldst thou have that which thou esteem'st the ornament of life, and live a coward in thine own esteem, letting 'I dare not' wait upon 'I would,' like the poor cat i' the adage?

ZIM (frightened): Prithee, peace: I dare do all that may become an irk…I mean human; who dares do more is none.

GAZ: What beast was't, then, that made you break this enterprise to me? When you durst do it, then you were a man; and, to be more than what you were, you would be so much more the man. Nor time nor place did then adhere, and yet you would make both: they have made themselves, and that their fitness now does unmake you. I have given suck, and know how tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me: I would, while it was smiling in my face, have pluck'd my nipple from his boneless gums, and dash'd the brains out, had I so sworn as you have done to this.

ZIM (still frightened; who wouldn't be?): …If we should fail?

Gaz backs up a bit and throws her arms up into a shrug.

GAZ: We fail! But screw your courage to the sticking-place, and we'll not fail. When Duncan is asleep-- whereto the rather shall his day's hard journey soundly invite him--his two chamberlains will I with wine and wassail so convince that memory, the warder of the brain, shall be a fume, and the receipt of reason a limbeck only: when in swinish sleep their drenched natures lie as in a death, what cannot you and I perform upon the unguarded Duncan? what not put upon his spongy officers, who shall bear the guilt of our great quell?

ZIM: Bring forth men-children only; for thy undaunted mettle should compose nothing but males. Will it not be received, when we have mark'd with blood those sleepy two of his own chamber and used their very daggers, that they have done't?

Gaz smiles as she now sees Zim has grown some balls.

GAZ: Who dares receive it other, as we shall make our griefs and clamour roar upon his death?

ZIM: I am settled, and bend up each corporal agent to this terrible feat. Away, and mock the time with fairest show: false face must hide what the false heart doth know.

The two walk hand in hand back through the dining hall to the court.

SCENE CUT!

The director exclaims "Salem's Lot" and shouts that he's so happy that the first act is finally finished. He says he's proud of everyone, despite the setbacks. All of the sudden, Happy Noodle Boy runs onto the set, shouting something about rubber plants making good house décor, and proceeds to wreck everything on the dining room set, to which the director shouts "The Turn of the Screw" and tries to get him to stop. The cameras have not stopped rolling and catch all of this. Yet it pans over to see Gaz and Zim walking together until Gaz suddenly stops after seeing the giant Cthulhu statue used in a later scene to represent Hecate.

GAZ: Why do they have this here?

Mandy, Olga, Tak are sitting together and discussing Anne Rice whenever they hear their "sister" mutter this.

MANDY: The director wanted a Cthulhu statue for a later scene with us. I ran into Cthulhu once. He's such a wuss.

GAZ: I don't want it here.

Gaz begins to grab her head and fall to her knees. They get up to see what's wrong with her; Zim kneels to face her.

GAZ (muttering): Walter Sullivan is coming back, and with him comes Nyarlathotep, Y'Golonac, Xuchilbara, Lobsel Vith, and the unspeakable Azathoth.

ZIM: What?

TAK: What could she mean?

OLGA: Those names sound familiar.

MANDY: But all of them are wimps. I've run into a few of the Old Ones. They're not as powerful as they're made out to be…seriously. But Gaz, snap out of it. I don't like seeing you like this.

Gaz shakes her head a few times, and Zim and Mandy help her to her feet.

TAK: Are you alright?

GAZ: Yeah. What the hell just happened?

MANDY: You were mumbling some of the names of the Old Ones. Seems they're still not giving up this world for some reason. Although, I must admit, I can't imagine why they'd want to bring back some cheap ass murderer like Walter Sullivan.

GAZ: I'm not sure what any of it meant, but I saw some of the weirdest shit ever.

MANDY: You look like you need a rest. Zim, take her home, and make sure not to wreck the car again; you're not putting our girl's life in danger again.

ZIM (cringing agitatedly): Yes, your highness.

He then walks Gaz out, her arm wrapped around his kneck.


	9. Act 2 scene 1

It is now late evening. The moon's light is streaming down onto the filming location. Walking onto the set, clad in that dress that gave her so much grief earlier, Gaz clutches her head. Zim looks over at her with a questioning stare and a raised eyebrow, as if to ask, "Are you okay?" She responds with a look that suggests, "I'm fine; leave me alone." Mr. Herriman is heading up to the second level, getting reading for his scene. Dib and Tak are playing a game of Magic: the Gathering before realizing they're about to start filming.

The director says tells them they're not in this scene.

TAK: What the hell? You called us in today, this early in the morning, just to tell us that you don't need us?

The director says he wanted them there to see how the rest of the production would go. He also said they could learn from one of his best students, Danny.

TAK: You must be determined for my boot to meet your ass. You better be giving us overtime for this.

Across the room, Gaz is trying to get Danny's attention. Danny is sitting in a chair, reading about the latest rocket model his company is producing; supposedly, this one is from Black Mesa.

GAZ: Danny, we've got to talk.

DANNY: Yes, what is it, Gaz?

GAZ: Listen, it's about something I saw. I think there's something bad that's about to happen to you.

DANNY: Well, someone nearly hit me in traffic today. I mean, this bastard was drunk; he nearly hit me head on. David was in the car with me, too. Who knows what could have happened to him?

GAZ: …Maybe that was it. I don't know. I just had a bad feeling, that's all.

DANNY: I'll keep an eye out for anything; anyway, I got to get onstage.

ACT 2

SCENE I

Danny and his son, David, walk into the darkened courtyard, Danny holding a torch. A foreboding silence lingers in the air like the scent of nightshade before it enters the lungs and poisons the breather.

DANNY: How goes the night, boy?

DAVID: The moon is down; I have not heard the clock.

DANNY: And she goes down at twelve.

DAVID: I take't, 'tis later, sir.

DANNY: Hold, take my sword. There's husbandry in heaven; their candles are all out. Take thee that too. A heavy summons lies like lead upon me, and yet I would not sleep: merciful powers, testrain in me the cursed thoughts that nature gives way to in repose!

A creek comes from a door opening nearby.

DANNY: Give me my sword. Who's there?

David hand's his father his sword. Danny takes a fighting stance, ready for whatever demon steps through the darkness at him. It turns out to be none other than Zim, having a deranged look to him; the only reason it makes a difference is that Danny knows this devil.

ZIM: A friend.

DANNY: What, sir, not yet at rest? The king's a-bed: he hath been in unusual pleasure, and sent forth great largess to your offices. This diamond he greets your wife withal, by the name of most kind hostess; and shut up in measureless content.

ZIM: Being unprepared, our will became the servant to defect; which else should free have wrought.

DANNY: All's well. I dreamt last night of the three weird sisters: to you they have show'd some truth.

ZIM: I think not of those pitiful humans: yet, when we can entreat an hour to serve, we would spend it in some words upon that business, if you would grant the time.

DANNY: At your kind'st leisure.

ZIM: If you shall cleave to my consent, when 'tis, it shall make honour for you.

DANNY: So I lose none in seeking to augment it, but still keep my bosom franchised and allegiance clear, I shall be counsell'd.

The director is giving Danny the thumbs-up sign, signaling how proud he is that he listened in English class, at least once. Of course, with the director's marriage, he isn't really just his student anymore but his nephew. But it must be said that even Zim is impressed by his and David's acting.

ZIM: Good repose the while!

DANNY: Thanks, sir: the like to you!

Danny and David leave through one of the grating doors into the darkness. Zim speaks to a nearby servant, who is just passing through the courtyard.

ZIM: Go bid thy mistress, when my drink is ready, she strike upon the bell. Get thee to bed.

The servant runs out of the door. Zim is now left in the darkened court, yet it seems darker than before. The setting itself seems to be melting into darkness, leaving himself in the nothingness that he will soon take as his own. Out of nowhere, before him appears a black and red dagger, dripping blood and holding a design of the Irken Elite insignia on the hilt, yet it also has some demonic qualities to it, namely in the color and angry angles of the hilt. It begins drifting closer and closer to him through the darkness.

ZIM: Is this a dagger which I see before me, the handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.

Zim reaches out to try to grab it, yet his hand goes through it as an object would pass through a hologram.

ZIM: I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible to feeling as to sight? Or art thou but a dagger of the mind, a false creation, proceeding from the heat-doomed brain, caused by an ickyness with the squeedly spooge? I see thee yet, in form as palpable as this which now I draw.

The dagger then shifts its point towards where the stone staircase once was, now revealing it through the dark, this time a river of blood flowing down each step. From the darkness, there seem to form the images of empty eyes and needle sharp teeth, all flowing around him in some sort of mad vortex. The blade is now dripping more blood, this time noticeable to Zim.

ZIM: Thou marshall'st Zim the way that Zim was going; and such an instrument Zim was to use. Mine eyes are made the stupid stink weasles o' the other senses, or else worth all the rest; I see thee still, and on thy blade and dudgeon gouts of blood, which was not so before. There's no such thing: it is the bloody business which informs thus to mine eyes.

Up in one of the upper levels, Gaz is preparing a drink for the guards, slipping sleeping powder into the pitcher. Soon after, though, the camera comes right back to Zim's darkened state.

ZIM: Now o'er the one halfworld nature seems dead, and wicked dreams abuse the curtain'd sleep; witchcraft celebrates pale Hecate's offerings, and wither'd murder, alarum'd by his sentinel, the wolf, whose howl's his watch, thus with his stealthy pace. With Tarquin's ravishing strides, towards his design moves like a Halloweenie beast. Thou sure and firm-set earth, hear not my steps, which way they walk, for fear thy very stones prate of my whereabout, and take the present horror from the time, which now suits with it. Whiles Zim threat, he lives: words to the heat of deeds too cold breath gives.

A bell begins ringing in the distance, and the courtyard goes back to normal. Yet, despite Zim coming back to his senses, the dagger is there, on the ground, in front of him. He bends down to pick it up.

ZIM: I go, and it is done; the bell invites me. Hear it not, Duncan; for it is a knell that summons thee to heaven or to hell.

Zim then proceeds up the stairs to the guest's quarters, where Herriman his fast asleep, along with the two guards, Chip and Skip. He slowly moves past them, darting this way and that behind objects and looking stupid in the process. He then sees Herriman, lying asleep in bed. As Zim gets closer, he raises the dagger, a gleam in his eye almost suggesting that he is taking his part too seriously. Suddenly, Herriman raises his hand and catches Zim's arm.

HERRIMAN: If thou thinkst thou can kill me so easily, thou is greatly mistaken, traitor!

Herriman flips out of bed with a sword at the ready. The director is completely confused at the sight of this, but neither of the actors seems to be adverse to it, as though they were ready for it anytime. Zim draws his sword and puts the dagger in the off-hand, now dual wielding. Zim, in the fury of combat that he so enjoys begins to strike first, which Herriman quickly blocks. From that, Herriman twirls Zim's sword around and throws him off balance. Yet, Zim then tries to use his dagger while Herriman's blade is lowered, only to be met by another quick block. How this old rabbit is able to fight so well, he has no idea. Herriman then tries to bring the sword down upon Zim to end the battle once and for all; what Herriman underestimates about Zim is his ability to also make quick reactions, this being in the form of the dagger and sword doing a scissors effect and locking the sword towards the ground. Zim then backhands Herriman across the face, knocking him to the floor. In this state, Herriman is finally vulnerable, an opportunity in which Zim takes in leaping down upon Herriman with both the sword and the dagger. Herriman lets out one final cry as blood gushes out of his chest all over Zim's face. Zim then staggers to his feet, covered in the old fool rabbit's blood.

ZIM: YES, THE DEED IS DONE! VICTORY! VICTORY FOR ZIM! I AM NOW THE TALLEST OF COWDER! I SHALL RAIN SOME DOOM UPON THE DOOMED HEADS OF ENGLAND AND THEN, FINALLY, THE WORLD!!! AAAH HAHAHAHAHA!!!

The camera shuts off, and the next thing that shows is the director arguing with Herriman to stick with the script.

HERRIMAN: A king should be prepared for anything, just as Machiavelli once wrote. Duncan would be no exception! For a king to be killed in his sleep would be outrageous.

The director then shouts, "House of Leaves," and proceeds to give him the rundown of sticking to the script. In another part, behind the set, Gaz and Zim are having a discussion.

GAZ: I'm curious…

ZIM: Curious? Of what?

GAZ: Of where that energy of yours came from last scene.

ZIM: Well, he had the title I wanted. Aren't I going to become a tallest now?

GAZ: Zim, this is just a movie. The sooner you accept the harsh reality of that, the better.

ZIM: …Oh.

She then walks over and embraces him.

GAZ: But, I'll admit, that fury in your eyes was quite appealing.

They kiss fervently. Dib and Tak are at another point backstage.

TAK: Huh, Zim carries his craziness even into the works of Shakespeare.

DIB: His delusions of granger just seem to be amplified in fiction.

TAK: I can't wait to see you up there again; you're a much better actor than he is.

DIB: You think so? Thank you, dear.

They also embrace and kiss lovingly. Tak, however, pulls away momentarily.

TAK: Now, remind me again why we're working for such a pompous jackass?


	10. Act 2 scene 2

Scene 2: The same courtyard

Gaz now stands in the exact spot where Zim had previously stood before ascending the stairs to perform his unthinkable act of betrayal. The world around her as well fades to darkness the same way it had for him. Dark faces swirl around her in silence.

GAZ: That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; what hath quench'd them hath given me fire.

A maddeningly haunting face from the swirls comes flying out from behind her and lets out a deep, blood-curdling scream.

GAZ: Hark! Peace!

The world itself flies back to normal, and the dark faces vanish from sight. Above the castle, an owl hovers around for a moment and perches on the wooden covering of the upper platform within the courtyard, screeching at the top of its lungs.

GAZ: It was the owl that shriek'd, the fatal bellman, which gives the stern'st good-night. He is about it: the doors are open; and the surfeited grooms do mock their charge with snores: I have drugg'd their possets, that death and nature do contend about them, whether they live or die.

She can hear Zim from somewhere upstairs.

ZIM: Who's there? what, ho!

GAZ: Alack, I am afraid they have awaked, and 'tis not done. The attempt and not the deed confounds us. Hark! I laid their daggers ready; he could not miss 'em. Had he not resembled my father as he slept, I had done't.

Zim comes down the stairs, his sword sheaved, yet he's holding the guards' daggers. He has rubbed the blood from his sword and the demonic dagger across them, along with whatever was on his hands.

GAZ: My husband!

ZIM: I have done the deed. Didst thou not hear a noise?

GAZ: I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. Did not you speak?

ZIM: When?

GAZ: Now.

ZIM: As I descended?

GAZ: Ay.

ZIM: Hark! Who lies i' the second chamber?

GAZ: Donalbain.

Zim looks down at his hands, covered in blood. He begins shaking, not fully believing what he's done, having killed the very tallest he was loyal to for years just now for the sake of becoming one himself.

ZIM: This is a sorry sight.

Gaz lightly smacks his lips with her fingers and looks at him in agitation of spirit.

GAZ: A foolish thought, to say a sorry sight.

ZIM: There's one did laugh in's sleep, and one cried 'Murder!' that they did wake each other: I stood and heard them: but they did say their prayers, and address'd them again to sleep.

GAZ: There are two lodged together.

ZIM: One cried 'God bless us!' and 'Amen' the other; as they had seen me with these hangman's hands. Listening their fear, I could not say 'Amen,' when they did say 'God bless us!'

A black mist begins radiating from Gaz for a moment. There is now a mild grin on her face.

GAZ: Consider it not so deeply.

ZIM: But wherefore could not I pronounce 'Amen'? I had most need of blessing, and 'Amen' stuck in my throat.

GAZ: These deeds must not be thought after these ways; so, it will make us mad.

The black mist fades.

ZIM: Methought I heard a voice cry 'Sleep no more! Macbeth does murder sleep', the innocent sleep, sleep that knits up the ravell'd sleeve of care, the death of each day's life, sore labour's bath, balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course, chief nourisher in life's feast,--

GAZ: What do you mean?

ZIM: Still it cried 'Sleep no more!' to all the house: 'Glamis hath murder'd sleep, and therefore Tallest shall sleep no more; Zim—er I mean Macbeth shall sleep no more.'

GAZ: Who was it that thus cried? Why, worthy thane, you do unbend your noble strength, to think so brainsickly of things. Go get some water, and wash this filthy witness from your hand.

Gaz reaches down to lovingly embrace his bloodstained hands before he washes them. It is then that she finally notices that he is carrying the daggers in the dark light. She looks back up at him and right hook punches him in the faces.

GAZ: Why did you bring these daggers from the place? They must lie there: go carry them; and smear the sleepy grooms with blood.

Zim looks back upstairs. He shakes in every limb (secretly in disbelieving joy, but still trying to stay in character).

ZIM: I'll go no more: I am afraid to think what I have done; look on't again I dare not.

Gaz's eye twitches in anger.

GAZ: Infirm of purpose! Give me the daggers: the sleeping and the dead are but as pictures: 'tis the eye of childhood that fears a painted devil. If he do bleed, I'll gild the faces of the grooms withal; for it must seem their guilt.

She runs up the stairs to replace the daggers next to Chip and Skip. Zim is now left to his own thoughts of horror (and secret glee). There is then a knocking from somewhere distant, an otherworldly knocking that chills the air around him. The knocking could be coming from the front gate or it could be from some other reality, from beyond, where the Great Old Ones dwell and swirl into maddening infinity.

ZIM: Whence is that knocking? How is't with me, when every noise appals me? What hands are here? ha! they pluck out mine eyes. Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?

Zim runs over to the nearby well and tries to wash his hands with the bucket that was previously used for drawing bath water.

ZIM: No, this Zim's hand will rather the multitudinous seas in incarnadine, making the green one red.

Gaz comes running down the stairs, holding her blood stained hands out in front of her. She then runs over to the well to begin dipping her hands into the water-filled bucket.

GAZ: My hands are of your colour…

She looks over at Zim, meets his eyes, and gives an uncharacteristically happy smile. Given the reason for it, however, it would not be uncharacteristic of Gaz.

GAZ: …But I shame to wear a heart so white.

The knocking continues, echoing through the castle like some vengeful ghost roaming his property forever.

GAZ: I hear a knocking at the south entry: retire we to our chamber; a little water clears us of this deed: how easy is it, then! Your constancy hath left you unattended.

The knocking increases in loudness, and the determination of what lies beyond the gate continues to go unsatisfied.

GAZ: Hark! more knocking. Get on your nightgown, lest occasion call us, and show us to be watchers. Be not lost so poorly in your thoughts.

Both her and Zim sneak away from the well.

ZIM: To know my deed, 'twere best not know myself.

The knocking echoes again, causing him to jump.

ZIM: Wake Duncan with thy knocking! I would thou couldst!

The two of them run from the scene and the camera cuts off.

SCENE CUT!!

The cameraman began banging his fist on the camera to get it to start. Brute force was how he had always started things before, and it was also how he sent kids down a railing to get them out of his shopping mall. Why wouldn't it work for a camera? The director then looked at him and chided him on his stupidity.

Around the set, Gaz was standing next to Zim. They had just exited the stage, trying to get a moment alone with one another before the director called them to the next scene. Zim was nursing his cheek with his hand.

"You didn't have to hit me so hard," Zim said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, hon," Gaz said, a slight smirk, "but c'mon. Take it like a man, will you?"

"You mean irken," Zim said, taking his hand from his cheek. "Have you still been having those nightmares?"

"Yeah," Gaz said, "It's still the same one, you know, about R'lyeh."

"You've told me," Zim said, "In fact, you wake me up just to talk about it whenever you have it."

"Of course," Gaz said, "because they're important, damn it. Anyways, I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do about it. Why can't they just friggin' leave me alone?" Zim came over to hold her in his arms.

"Ah, don't worry," Zim said, "You and I both know we can take whatever hideous stink beast comes our way, right?"

"Yeah, well, it's not like we're really going to be much of match alone against these things' coming," Gaz said, "Danny's wife, Sam, apparently knows a little about this, too. She says she's been having these dreams off and on."

"What does she say about them?" Zim asked.

"Just that she's also been having visions of that stupid city too," Gaz said, "This is similar to something that happened nearly a hundred years ago. People all around the world were getting visions and dreams of some thing call Cthulhu rising out of this city to take over the world, along with his big ass brothers and sister."

"Those are the Great Old Ones that annoying earth monkey Mandy was speaking of, right?" Zim asked.

"Yeah," Gaz said, "My most recent dreams, however, have been concerning some voice saying it was coming for our child." Gaz paused for a moment, looking at the shock on Zim's face. "And before you ask, no, I'm not pregnant, not yet anyways. I didn't want to tell you, Zim, but we're going to be having two babies together."

"But not right now, right?" Zim asked with some nervousness.

"No, not yet," Gaz responded with much frustration, "But either way, with the way my dreams have been going, I fear the worst."

On another part of the set, Tak was looking out over the countryside towards the rising sun. The light, while dim, made the dew on each blade of grass glisten and alight. On top of the hill, she could see a running fox, its tail swishing about in the light breeze in the air. Looking upon this free creature made her think for a moment, if only a moment, how great this world actually was when you got away from those who make it the disgusting rock so many people throughout the galaxy see it as.

Dib walked up behind her and sat down, his hands on her shoulders, lovingly messaging them. If this image was not enough to show some greatness on this nasty rock, this wonderful nerdy boy who she shared her love with was.

Just then, off in the distance, on the horizon, two objects seemed to be flying in the sky towards them. Tak squinted to see what it was, straining her eyes against the sun's bright rays. With some effort, she was able to make out what they were. And behold, it was none other than Gir and Mimi, flying towards her and Dib. None had seen hide or hair of them in several years since they ran off to Indiana. They were now flying close enough to show that Gir was covered in little bits of corn and wheat grass.

They flew over Tak and Dib's heads, leaving them to watch as Mimi made a perfect landing on the grass. Gir, however, continued flying.

"Yay, that wall wants to be my friend!" Gir shouted out and did what anyone who knew him would predict he would do, come crashing into the set and knock an entire wall over, causing much of the courtyard to collapse. The director could he heard shouting something about "Oliver Twist", but it wasn't quite clear.


	11. Act 2 scene 3

Olga walked into the room, dressed in a blue denim skirt, a black zip up hoodie, black Converse sneakers with white and red skulls hand painted on them, and her usual black pigtails, holding a stereo in her hands by the handle. She walked over to the table where Gaz, Tak, and Mandy had seated themselves and kicked it to get their attention.

"Hey," she said, "I wanna show you the new dance my sister in law and I have been working on."

"And this is important why?" Mandy asked with sarcasm in her voice.

"Because I've been working too damn hard on it for you to ignore me when I want to share my art," Olga responded bluntly.

"Alright," Gaz said, "Let's see it." Upon hearing Gaz say this, she eagerly put down the stereo, pressed play, and backed up a bit. The first thing to come on was Puscifer's "Indigo Children," and with it, the intro to the fluent movement of Olga's dance. Her arms moved in a flowing fashion in comparison to the rapid movement of her legs; the pattern became hypnotic as her motions eventually progressed into something that seemed almost tribal in nature. For a moment, the three observing women thought they saw some fire within the circle around which she danced and that she was wearing the loins of some Germanic ceremonial garb. The song eventually changed to "Boy/Girl Song" by Aphex Twin, as did her method of dancing.

"Okay, this one's different altogether," Olga informed them. The dance started out slow, reflecting the gradual buildup within the music. Once the drum machine kicked in, so did her rapid movements. With the articulate motions of her arms, that same hypnotic effect increased its potency. Each back and forth thrust of her arms, in concordance with her leg movements, made it look as if they were not watching Olga but rather a living oversized electric ion floating before them.

As the song died away in a slow tune, so too did the electric movement of Olga.

"So, what did you think?" she asked.

"Not bad," Tak said, "But of course I'm not the best judge of dancing."

"Eh, it wasn't bad," Gaz said, "What did you think, Mandy?"

"Meh, it was alright," Mandy responded, "I think the transition kind of threw me off."

"What?" Olga asked, shocked, "Dee Dee and I have been working on those two for quite some time, and we're starting to get into the feel of them."

"Just keep working at it," Gaz said, "Anyways, I've got to go. Got to make sure Zim's stupid robot doesn't screw anything up again."

SCENE III: The Same Courtyard.

More knocking ensues from the large gate of Macbeth's castle. It continues to echo across the courtyard, which is now graced by dawn's light, glazing over the dew covered greenery, hay wagon, and water well, the latter having a hint of almost invisible blood creeping around one of the rocks. GIR falls out of the corner of the balcony and lands on his behind, making a squeak noise. He is wearing an old, ragged sock on his head, an anachronistic "I heart my alpaca" t-shirt, and some baggy, cut up pants that sag down to the ground. The smell of burnt corn radiates from his dog suit. He begins to prance slowly yet lively towards the gate.

GIR: Here's a knockin' indeed! If a man were porter of hell-gate, he should turn old turning da key.

The door continues to knock. Gir, however, is now distracted by some ladybug flying from leaf to leaf. In his chronic attention deficit state, he completely ignores the fact that the people on the other side are making irritated grunts of frustration.

GIR: Knock, knock, knock! Who's there, i' the name of da big scary piggy? Here's a farmer, that hanged himself on the expectation of plenty: come in time; have napkins enow about you; here you'll sweat for't. Maybe I could make ya some waffles, too? They're good for ya, just like weenies.

More knocking ensues. Gir has now focused his attention into tunneling his head into the dirt. In his mind, he is searching for his lost earthworm, Hubert. In the background, Mimi can be seen in her cat form, shaking her head, yet giving something that resembles a smile.

GIR: Knock, knock! Who's there, in th' other piggy's name? Faith, here's an equivocator that could swear in both the scales against either scale, who committed treason enough for the Big Glowy Moose's sake, yet could not equivocate to Heaven. O, come in, equivocator. I like my pickles just like I like my rats, extra smelly!!

The knocking gets louder. It begins to sound as if multiple people are doing it all at once. Gir is now digging through a box of moth balls and eating them one after another.

GIR: Knock, knock, knock! Who's there? Faith, here's an English tailor come hither for stealing out of a French hose. Fashions always change; I watch enough T.V. to know that. Come in, tailor. Here you may roast your bum.

The knocking continues to get even louder. Through the cracks, the audience can see that it is Dib doing the knocking. The look on his face is one of frustration. Gir is now slurping down a chocolate bubblegum brain-freezy.

GIR: Knock, knock! Never at quiet. What are you? But this place is too cold for Hell. Aww, alright, I'll filthiness-porter it no further. I wanted to have let in some of all professions that go the primrose way to the everlasting bonfire.

Dib knocks one last time.

GIR: I'm comin', I'm comin'. Just remember to tip me. I need to buy my moose a new sock hat.

He runs over and opens up the gate by jumping on the lever a few times before the wooden gates open with a thud. Dib and Cosmo are there, finally being let in.

DIB: Was it so late, friend, ere you went to bed, That you do lie so late?

GIR: 'Faith sir, we were carooooosing till the second cock. And waffles, big headed sir, are a great provoker of three things.

DIB (confused): What…three things do waffles especially provoke?

GIR: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and URINE!! Dancin' with da piggy, sir, it provokes and unprovokes. It provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. Therefore, much waffles may be said to be an equivocator with piggy dancin'. It makes him, and it 'splodes him; it sets him on 'o da world, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and makes him sad; makes him stand to and fall down; in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the fib, leaves him all sorts of clunky.

DIB: I believe dri…er, waffles gave thee the lie last night.

GIR (smiling): That it did, crazy headed guy, i' th' very throat on me; but I got even with them for their lie, and, I think, being too strong for him, though he took up my legs sometime, yet I made a shift to puke them out all over my master's face yesterday.

He makes a squeak noise, and Dib gets the impression he's talking about events outside of the script. For a moment, Dib almost feels sorry for Zim.

DIB: Is thy master stirring?

No sooner does Dib ask then Zim proceeds down the stairs from the upper level.

DIB: Our knocking has awaked him. Here he comes.

Cosmo flies in between them, right next to Zim, violating his personal space.

COSMO: Good morrow, noble sir.

ZIM: Good morrow, both.

DIB (some sarcasm in his tone): Is the king stirring, 'worthy thane'?

ZIM: Not yet.

DIB: He did command me to call timely on him. I have almost slipped the hour.

ZIM: I'll bring you to him.

DIB: I know this is a joyful trouble to you, but yet 'tis one.

ZIM: The labor we delight in physics pain. This is the door.

DIB: I'll make so bold to call, for 'tis my limited service.

Dib runs upstairs to see about Herriman.

COSMO: Goes the king hence today?

ZIM: He does. He did appoint so.

COSMO: The night has been unruly. Where we lay, our chimneys were blown down, this time it not being my fault for causing a tornado like last time, and, as they say, lamentings heard i' th' air, strange screams of death, and prophesying with accents terrible of dire combustion and confused events new hatched to the woeful time. The obscure bird clamored the livelong night. Some say the Earth was feverous and did shake, again this not being my fault like that time I caused that horrible earthquake that leveled San Francisco. Am I saying these out loud?

ZIM: Yes you are.

COSMO: Oh no, I told Wanda Poof had drank too much soda and let out a tremendous burp, causing an earth-shattering lightning crack. "I told that boy he should lay off the carbonation," I said. Now she's going to have my head. Hey, that rhymed…almost

ZIM: That…must be terrible, but can we get back to the movie?

COSMO: Oh yes, sorry.

ZIM: 'Twas a rough night.

COSMO: My young remembrance cannot parallel a fellow to it. Come to think of it, my memory wasn't that great to begin with.

Dib runs down the stairs in haste, looking to be upset and outraged by something.

DIB: O horror, horror, horror! Tongue nor heart cannot conceive nor name thee!

He makes it to the bottom level. Cosmo and Zim look at him with bewildered eyes. Gir wonders off to go search for Hubert again, burrowing his head this time in a different hole.

ZIM and COSMO (simultaneously): What's the matter?

DIB: Confusion now hath made his masterpiece. Most sacrilegious murder hath broke ope the Lord's anointed temple, and stole thence the life o' th' building!

ZIM (faking a sense of shock): What is 't you say? "The life"?

COSMO: Mean you his majesty?

DIB (pointing): Approach the chamber, and destroy your sight with a new Gorgon. Do not bid me speak. See, and then speak yourselves.

Zim and Cosmo run upstairs to investigate what Dib was talking about, while Dib remains down on the lower level to shout and spread the news.

DIB: Awake, awake! Ring the alarum bell. Murder and treason! Banquo and Donalbain! Malcolm! Awake!

A few ears hear this throughout the castle but only slightly rouse at it. Mimi, however, is the only one who really responds to Dib's cries. She picks up her idiot dog brain boyfriend, Gir, out of the dirt, puts him on her back, and begins to climb the ladder to the upper level.

DIB: Shake off this downy sleep, death's counterfeit, and look on death itself! Up, up, and see the great doom's image! Malcolm! Banquo! As from your graves rise up, and walk like sprites, to countenance this horror! Ring the bell.

No sooner does he finish this then Mimi makes it to the bell tower, puts Gir on her tail, and launches him straight at the bell. His head thus becomes a battering ram, causing the bell to ring loud across the entire castle. Gaz comes down from the upper level via the staircase.

GAZ (acting irritated as usual): What's the business, that such a hideous trumpet calls to parley the sleepers of the house? Speak, speak!

DIB: O gentle lady, 'tis not for you to hear what I can speak: the repetition, in a woman's ear, would murder as it fell.

Danny comes down as well from the stairs to greet them both in this time of strife. As he does that, Zim and Cosmo have made their way to one of the corridors in the upper level. This is the exact same corridor leading to the guest bedroom. Chip and Skip are still sleeping there, covered in the king's blood. As Zim approaches, they begin to awake.

CHIP: Wha…what happened?

ZIM: Murderers! Traitors! You will pay for your crimes.

The two stand to attention, and all three draw their swords.

SKIP: We aint done nothin'.

ZIM: Liars! You lie with your lying mouth of dookie filth!

The sword Zim was holding resembles a wooden stick for two minutes. Then, by the power of "movie magic" the next still shows it as an actual sword. With one quick swoop, Zim swings his sword at Chip. Chip parries once and thrusts forward, which Zim quickly blocks. Chip is then replaced with a scarecrow, and Zim chops its head off, corn syrup squirting out of its stump. Skip looks shocked.

SKIP: You…You killed my brother!!

Zim spins around and stabs Skip in the gut with the demonic dagger. Skip is then replaced with another scarecrow, which then explodes, its limbs and head flying all over the room, more corn syrup flying all over the place. The scene moves back to Dib, Gaz, and Danny who are now talking in the courtyard.

GAZ: Woe, alas! What, in our house?

DANNY: Too cruel any where. Dear Duff, I prithee, contradict thyself, and say it is not so.

Zim comes back down the stairs with Cosmo and Roxas, covered in blood.

ZIM: Had I but died an hour before this chance, I had lived a blessed time; for, from this instant, there 's nothing serious in mortality: all is but toys: renown and grace is dead; the wine of life is drawn, and the mere lees is left this vault to brag of.

Mac and Timmy also enter, alarmed at all the noise and sound.

TIMMY: What is amiss?

ZIM: You are, and do not know't: the spring, the head, the fountain of your blood is stopp'd; the very source of it is stopp'd.

DIB: Your royal father 's murder'd.

MAC: O, by whom?

COSMO (as seriously as he can): Those of his chamber, as it seem'd, had done 't: their hands and faces were an badged with blood; so were their daggers, which unwiped we found upon their pillows: they stared, and were distracted; no man's life was to be trusted with them…I LIKE PUPPIES!

ZIM: O, yet I do repent me of my fury, that I did kill them.

DIB: Wherefore did you so?

ZIM: Who can be wise, amazed, temperate and furious, loyal and neutral, in a moment? No man: the expedition my violent love outrun the pauser, reason. Here lay Duncan, his silver skin laced with his golden blood; and his gash'd stabs look'd like a breach in nature for ruin's wasteful entrance: there, the murderers, steep'd in the colours of their trade, their daggers unmannerly breech'd with gore: who could refrain, that had a heart to love, and in that heart courage to make 's love known?

Gaz is smiling at the thought of all the gore. The director is then telling her she needs to faint, to which she responds with an eye roll.

GAZ: Help me hence, ho!

She faints into Dib's arms.

ZIM: Look to the lady.

Timmy and Mac go off by themselves for a moment and begin speaking solely to each other.

MAC: Why do we hold our tongues, that most may claim this argument for ours?

TIMMY: What should be spoken here, where our fate, hid in an auger-hole, may rush, and seize us? Let 's away; our tears are not yet brew'd.

MAC: Nor our strong sorrow upon the foot of motion.

Danny yells for a servant to come.

DANNY: Look to the lady…

They carry her away.

DANNY: And when we have our naked frailties hid, that suffer in exposure, let us meet, and question this most bloody piece of work, to know it further. Fears and scruples shake us: in the great hand of God I stand; and thence against the undivulged pretence I fight of treasonous malice.

DIB: And so do I.

EVERYONE ELSE: So all.

ZIM: Let's briefly put on manly readiness, and meet i' the hall together.

EVERYONE: Well contented.

Everyone leaves but Mac and Timmy. They climb the stairs to where Herriman's body is lying. Guards and weeping maids surround it. The two brush past the people, kneel near the bed and pretend to pray, all the while actually talking amongst themselves.

MAC: What will you do? Let's not consort with them: to show an unfelt sorrow is an office which the false man does easy. I'll to England.

TIMMY: To Ireland, I; our separated fortune shall keep us both the safer: where we are, there's daggers in men's smiles: the near in blood, the nearer bloody.

MAC: This murderous shaft that's shot hath not yet lighted, and our safest way is to avoid the aim. Therefore, to horse; and let us not be dainty of leave-taking, but shift away: there's warrant in that theft which steals itself, when there's no mercy left.

SCENE CUT!

"Not bad," Olga said as Gaz walked back into the room, "I just wonder when we're going to get to go next."

"Haven't you read the script?" Mandy said, "We should be in the next act. We're just here to support Gaz." All of the sudden, Mandy's cell began to ring. She looked down to see that it was Billy calling. "Will you excuse me; my husband is calling." She picked up the phone.

"MANDY!" Billy screeched over the other end, "I found a cool toy!"

"What is it, Billy?" Mandy asked, annoyed.

"It's a little triangle thing," he continued, "I think Eris called it the Flower. But it glows red, makes this really cool fog, and I hear all these really awesome growly noises all over the house, oh, and then I found a round hole in my wall with a bunch of red, glowy letters."

"That's the Flauros, dumbass," Mandy said, "If that thing gets into the wrong hands, you're going to bring Hell on Earth." She said this and thought afterwards, realizing it probably already was in the wrong hands.

"Wellll," Billy continued, "there was this pirate ghost who seemed to want to buy it from me."

"Sell it to him," Mandy commanded, "We need the money anyways; this isn't like the old days when we could get money from Grim. He enjoys being a family man too much now."

"Okay," Billy said, "I love you." With that, he hung up.

Mandy put the phone back in the pocket of her black denim pants, an annoyance burning around her brain. But the silence stifled it and gave her a level head again. She looked back down at the pocket again, seeing through it to the phone underneath. The thoughts now stirring in her brain were the very words she refused to pass her lips.

"I love you, too, Billy," she thought, "It may make me weak, and you may be a moron, but I wouldn't trade anything that we've gone through for the world."


	12. Act 2 scene 4

Act 2, Scene 4 – Outside of the Castle

Act 2, Scene 4 – Outside of the Castle

A very smelly, dirty hobo is rolling around aimlessly in a circle, in a small patch of flowers. His mouth is wide open, and his eyes seem to be fixated in the same position, never blinking. Roxas appears out of a black portal that forms in the air and, upon landing, holds the keyblade he was carrying up to it and closes it. The hobo, upon seeing Roxas, stands up and waddles over to him, violating his personal space.

HOBO: Threescore and ten I can remember well, within the volume of which time I have seen hours dreadful and things strange, but this sore night hath trifled former knowings. I tells ya, sonny, thems some weirdness there.

ROXAS (nervously): Ha… good father, thou seest the heavens, as troubled with man's act, threatens his bloody stage. By th' clock 'tis day, and yet dark night strangles the travelling lamp. Is 't night's predominance or the day's shame that darkness does the face of Earth entomb when living light should kiss it?

The hobo then falls to the ground and rolls backwards along the ground. He then rolls back to Roxas and stands up again, right next to him.

HOBO (whispering in his ear): 'Tis unnatural, even like the deed that's done. On Tuesday last, a falcon, tow'ring in her pride of place, was by a mousing owl hawked at and killed. I tells ya, boy, ya gotta stay away from the madness. MADNESS I TELLS YA!! It turns ya inta something yer not. Turned me into a hobo, that's what it did.

ROXAS: And Duncan's horses—a thing most strange and certain— beauteous and swift, the minions of their race, turned wild in nature, broke their stalls, flung out, contending 'gainst obedience, as they would make war with mankind.

HOBO: TIS SAID THEY EAT EACH OTHER!

The hobo then burps really loud

ROXAS: They did so, to th' amazement of mine eyes that looked upon 't. Here comes the good Macduff.

Roxas looks relieved that Dib is walking on stage, so as he doesn't have to suffer this freak (who smells like Siax's feet) alone.

ROXAS: How goes the world, sir, now?

Dib is carrying a forlorn look on his face, almost as if he's not acting and something outside of this stupid movie is bothering him.

DIB: Why, see you not?

ROXAS: Is 't known who did this more than bloody deed?

DIB: Those that Macbeth hath slain.

ROXAS: Alas, the day! What good could they pretend?

DIB: They were suborned. Malcolm and Donalbain, the king's two sons, are stol'n away and fled, which puts upon them suspicion of the deed.

Images of Timmy and Mac flash in front of the screen in some strange flashback. It then fades back to a bewildered Roxas, a forlorn Dib, and the increasingly smelly hobo, who is now licking the inside of his removed boot and looking down at the areas between his toes with an equally ravenous light.

ROXAS: 'Gainst nature still! Thriftless ambition, that will raven up thine own lives' means! Then 'tis most like the sovereignty will fall upon Macbeth.

DIB: He is already named and gone to Scone to be invested.

ROXAS: Where is Duncan's body?

DIB: Carried to Colmekill, the sacred storehouse of his predecessors, and guardian of their bones.

ROXAS: Will you to Scone?

DIB (shaking his freakishly large head): No, cousin, I'll to Fife.

ROXAS: Well, I will thither

DIB: Well, may you see things well done there. Adieu, lest our old robes sit easier than our new!

ROXAS: Farewell, father!

Roxas and Dib leave quickly, trying not to escape whoever killed Herriman, but rather to get away from the disgusting hobo, who is now eating a pair of really dirty socks.

HOBO: God's benison go with you and..ughuuuuuuuuu…

There is an awkward pause.

HOBO: …With those that would make good of bad and friends of foes. Trust me, you'll need it, lest you become a hobo toooooooooo!

SCENE CUT!

Alicia walked up to Lancer after the filming was over. She was very rarely ever frightened by anything, but gazing upon this…thing that was eating his sock. Her eyes never left a saucer shape.

"Hon," she said to him, "Where the hell did you find this guy?"

Lancer responded with a bewildered look, saying that he thought she had hired him.

"So he just wandered onto the set, and you shot him in the film?"

Lancer responded by looking back at the hobo, who was now wandering off the set with two pigs under his arm, the word bacon repeating again and again from his fat, crusty lips.

As Dib walked away from the set, removing the pieces of armor, something plagued his mind. It was the case he was working in, assigned to him by the B.P.R.D., of which he and Tak now worked for, this being the condition of his own sister. They assigned it to him not because it was personal, but because it was convenient and the two were close. She was still suffering headaches and agonizing nightmares. It was eating away at his brain that all he could do was record what she saw without the ability to help her in any way. She would have some nightmare, carve something strange in clay, and not remember doing it later in the day. Even Zim, who was even closer to her than Dib was now, didn't know what to do with it all.

Dib was now leaving the studio, his signature jacket flapping in the light breeze of the approaching spring air. He had on long black cargo pants and a Mysterious Mysteries shirt. As he walked out, all of this continued to plague his mind. What was it all worth? Why was Gaz the first to have this? Why were so many other women around the world experiencing the same things, and what was it that was keeping his sister still on the brink of sanity? Less importantly, who let the damn hobo on the set?

Tak drove up in the parking lot on her Ninja motorcycle, the song "Cars" by Gary Numan playing from the speakers. She turned it off and took the iPod that had provided the music from the console and placed it in her pocket. She was wearing a purple and black jacket with black jeans. Her helmet that she was removing and placing on the seat had a purple and black design of some elegant yet frightening faerie flying above a large patch of nightshade.

"Greetings, dear," she said to him with a smile. She walked over to him, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him. "How was filming?"

"Wasn't horrible," he said with a half smile, kissing her back. "That dirty hobo wandered onto the set…he looks so familiar."

"Yes," Tak said, "he was hobbling around the studio for awhile now. I was wondering when he was going to actually make contact with us."

"I think he really disturbed Danny's aunt and uncle."

"Well, I think something's disturbing you," Tak said, studying Dib's face, "What's troubling you?" Dib sighed heavily in response.

"It's just…Gaz…she..."

"Dib," Tak interrupted, "I know Gaz and her second perception are trifling with your brain. But I want you to take your mind off it tonight. It's a Friday night; I think you and I both need to go out."

"Yeah," Dib said, "I'd like that." He still looked lost in thought. God only knows what Tak could be going through too in trying to find all the nodes to where the Great Old Ones could be resonating. That was what the B.P.R.D. had assigned for her. Who knows what kind of insanity they could be bringing her and her teammates. The stress of thinking about it seemed to add to everything else on Dib's brain.

"And, hey," Tak said with some playfulness, breaking into his train of thought, "I'll wear that outfit I know you like."

How could he refuse?

"But I'm driving," she continued.

……

The two of them drove down the Colorado streets, Dib gripping hard around his lady's waist. The street lights left small blurs above their heads as they made their way towards Lorasco's, one of the more popular bars in that town. Their friends, Tootie, Trixie, and Veronica were performing there tonight, and Tak wanted to support them. Trixie had formed the band after receiving funds from her husband's last tour. The problem was that right whenever the tour started, so had Trixie's headaches. Veronica's drunkenness didn't help anything, but surprisingly, Tootie was becoming the only one Trixie could confide in, even though she was now married to her ex-boyfriend.

Dib leaned his head over Tak's shoulder and looked down at her legs, her black and purple plaid skirt showing them quite well. They were milky white, as she was in her human disguise yet again. Oh, how he longed to slide his hands along them, but the necessity of holding on prevented him. In all honesty, he was scared of motorcycles and wondered how Tak was able to drive them so well. Tak knew very well what he was thinking, however, and looked over at him. She could see his nervous eyes through the helmet and knew that it was more than just the bike that was creating a stressor upon him. She was determined get him to relax, to be at peace, to return a genuine smile to his face, even if it meant taking drastic measures.

They parked around back, took their helmets off, and walked towards the door.

Tak poked Dib in his side through is jacket.

"Ha," she said as they walked, "I have pok'ed you. Art thou going to retaliate?" Dib gave a half smile and a snicker. Even with all that was on his mind, he could still know when his lady was trying to cheer him.

"What would thou have me do?" Dib answered in the same tone he had been using during filming.

"I'll let you know later," she said leaning in as they reached the door, "how to fully disarm an irken warrior." She then sensually kissed his ear and put his hand up to her breast, which made Dib's face turn morning-sunshine red; she thought it was so cute when he did that.

Despite trying to cheer Dib with as much flirting and making out they were going to do that night, Tak's head began to hurt, although she didn't show it. She then got an overwhelming sense of something terrible headed their way, but tried to put it out of her mind.

The bouncer behind the door, with his purple suit, slicked back black hair, and sunglasses that he even wore at night, greeted Tak with a smile, as she had earned her popularity for having a sweet bike, and let the two of them backstage. Tootie was standing over Trixie, who was having one of her headaches. Veronica was sprawled out on one of the speakers, a bottle of vodka in her hands, only half aware of the situation that faced her friend.

"You gonna be alright?" Tootie asked her.

"Another of those damn headaches?" Tak asked.

"Yeah," Trixie said, "with more visions. I keep seeing that Walter guy."

"Here," Tootie said, retrieving some blue pills from her bag she took up off the floor, "Take these. It should help with your headache."

"Could you possibly spare a few more?" Tak asked, "I have one myself." Tootie nodded with an unceasing grin and handed both of them the blue pills.

"Did you hear?" Tootie asked them, "Olga actually has a bo now."

"And who's the lucky bastard?" Veronica asked, slurring her words.

"Well, he said the only name he really goes by is Piff, which was given to him by some idiot he knew in school. He felt like it was some deep, expressive thing or something."

"Ha," Trixie said, "One weird artistic beatnik to another."

"Hey, while you're passing them out," Veronica groaned, "could I have some Tylenol too?" She then belched.

"Hell, no," Trixie said, "You've had way too much alcohol."

"So what are you all playing tonight?" Dib asked.

"Well," Tootie squeaked, "We're just doing covers tonight, but we're doing a few by Siouxsie and the Banshees, a few by Prince, and a few by Mary Elisabeth McGlynn…"

"I'M MARY ELISABETH MCGLYNN!" Veronica screamed out in her drunken state. There was a long silence before she finally broke it in asking the nonsensical question, "Coffee cake?"

About a half hour later, Trixie's group was already playing. Veronica's drunkenness seemed to help the rhythm of the drums. Tootie was an absolute wonder on the guitar. Trixie of course was an equally wonderful singer; the pills Tootie had given her did not help her headache at all, but she was feeling rather warm, the good sort of warm that she felt whenever she was around Chester, the sort of warmth she should probably not be feeling right now. These thoughts seemed to reflect in her singing but did not take away from the music.

"So I've been reading a lot on Descartes as of late," Tak said, having drank the last of her third vodka, "Existential thought really has fascinated me since I've gotten here. Why didn't you tell me there were more intelligent humans out there?"

"Well they're so few and far between," Dib said, taking in the last of the screwdriver that was in front of him and staring deep into Tak's gorgeously violet eyes, "That most see them as more than just human. It's just that most see someone like Socrates, Plato, or even Samuel Clemens as figureheads of marble rather than real people." The alcohol was obviously affecting him a slight bit, as his eyes drifted down to her legs again. She noticed, and the psychic talents she had just recently picked up weren't necessary for her to know what he was thinking. The headache wasn't gone, but she was feeling much of the same way, if not more so.

"I certainly understand," Tak said, "They may have been merely human, but at least they weren't those who wouldn't notice a giant weenie stand. I've actually also been reading William James's essays on the varieties of religious experiences. They're really about the cognitive and philosophical implications of the conversion experience one feels during an awakening or sometimes a lack thereof, whether one follows a set religion or not, those moments where one believes they've had a glimpse of something beyond themselves, and to be honest, I believe I've had my glimpse already."

"When do you believe that was?" Dib asked with an inquisitive look. Tak looked down and gently grasped his hand.

"Above the Earth," she answered looking into his eyes that were now off of her legs, "after fighting the Xenomorph, when I saw that light in your eyes that really could not have come from this world. I saw that passion in you that I could not have seen from anyone else across the universe." She then took his hand and slowly slid it along her thigh and up her skirt, so high he could feel her satin underwear, which made him blush yet again. "Dib I love you, and there's something that's been on my mind for the longest time."

"Wha…what…what could that be?" Dib stammered.

"Will you marry me?" Tak asked with a smile. Yes, this was kind of an awkward way of doing it, although it was in a bar in which others around them were doing much of the same thing, if not worse, but she could not deny both her physical or emotional feelings at this point. "We've been together three years now and have built up our careers in the B.P.R.D. like we said we would. I just feel like the time is finally right."

Dib was flabbergasted by the entire situation. Was it not his job to propose? He did feel a little awkward, but in all fairness, did not want to move his hand. His other hand reached into his pocket to grab something he wanted to give her for the longest time. He pulled the small box out, opened it with his thumb, and showed it to her.

He smiled. At least part of his fears were gone.

"Were you reading my mind?" He asked.

"Honestly," She said, shaking in every limb but still quivering a smile, "I couldn't see that part." She then patted his hand to keep it in place on her panties and lifted the ring from the box. Dib let the box fall to the floor, the same way he let all of his inhibitions leave him, took the ring from her again and, in one determined flash, joined them in a full, holy circle. The two then found themselves connected again by the warmth of each others lips. Locked in silence, alone in their world. Dib then noticed that Tak's ringed hand brought it violently again to her breast, causing him to open his eyes in surprise. He then shut his eyes again, his new fiancé, the woman he loved, joined in the harmony of a kiss, not to mention letting him feel her up.

It was then that Tootie, seeing both the reaction of Trixie and at the crowd cheering the new happy yet overly horny couple that seemed to match with the music, realized what those pills really were. It was actually female Viagra she used to make herself even more excitable for her husband Timmy, as if she needed it (although it was all part of both her and Timmy's plan to possibly help the whole "having a kid" idea, since they wanted to try every resource they could without "wishing" for it. It was harder to wish for a human child than a faerie child, especially since Cosmo and Wanda weren't supposed to cater to adults). The manufacturers had invented it in 2011 and had finally been able to mass produce it in nine years. The word oops rang in her head, but at least she knew her friends would enjoy themselves that night.

That still didn't save Trixie or Tak from their headaches. Something bad was coming; in fact, it was walking down the streets towards the bar.

"Let's get out of here," Tak said, wanting to try to avoid it and enjoy her night with her love, "I have a feeling you want to get me home."

"I do have a question, though," Dib said, raising an eyebrow, "You were just kidding about the whole mind reading thing, weren't you?"

………

Tak had waved goodbye to Tootie before the two of them left the bar. They made their way to the bike; irken blood had a higher tolerance for alcohol than humans, but with the Viagra in her system and the presence of the man she loved, she may as well have been, putting Dib in an even more awkward way. But he wasn't worried either.

But he should have been and not for the sake of driving, but for the fact of the figure standing right next to their bike.

Tak swung her human fiancé through the air. He felt himself wrapped in her strong arms, flying through the air.

The figure just watched, its red eyes glaring at them, an aura of madness, malice, and hatred projected in them.

"Good evening," the deep voice of the coated figure said, "I've been expecting you." The happy couple stopped to stare at the horrific, shadowed figure that stood before them. Gazing at this figure sent a wave of unknown terror over both of them.

"And what business do you have with us, stranger?" Tak asked, knowing in her mind what this…thing was that was speaking to them.

"None with you," the demon said, "but rather with him." It pointed its gnarled finger at Dib, and somewhere in the distance, Tak could hear the faint sound of the words, "Tekilili-Tekilili!"

"What do you want with me?" Dib said sheepishly, yet he was now reaching inside his jacket for something that could probably help against something like this.

"You're one of the Membranes," the thing said, and with that, strange black tentacles began to creep from out of its back, "He and his sister are prophesied to end the reign of my masters, the old ones. They were, they are, and they shall be again. I cannot allow him to interfere." More tentacles began to creep from its back, each one of them having large red eyes along them. The words "Tekilili-Tekilili" became louder and louder.

"You know," Tak said blandly, reaching for her pack, "I've been denied many things throughout my miserable existence. I was denied the Great Assigning, I was denied the glory of conquering this horrid rock of stupid idiots, and I was denied the cake I was promised from that imbecile computer. I'm not about to let you deny me of my happiness with the man I love." What then emerged from her pack was her perfect escape plan; it was also going to be helpful to getting rid of this thing. It was the portal gun. She fired a portal near her bike, behind the beast, and another below her and Dib's feet, sending them straight to the other side. They then hopped out the other side, onto the bike, and Tak fired up the engine, sending them out of the parking lot.

The thing then roared and began to fully transform. It was now a mass of black tentacles and red eyes the size of a minivan, screeching. It then began to follow the bike at high speeds down the street.

"What the hell is that thing?" Tak asked, swerving through several cars in front of her, a cop noticing and firing up the lights and sirens.

"A shoggoth lord," Dib said, "They used to be servants of the elder things until they evolved to gain their own sentience." The beast knocked over several of the cars, its corrosive body burning parts of chassis off as it raced down the streets towards the bike.

The two were about to turn a sharp corner in the road.

"I have a plan," Tak said, "Hang on." She then fired a shot into the side of the closest building in front of them and then another in the side of the building down the street. The bike then raced through that portal and out the other portal. Upon exiting, she fired another portal in front of them, sending the shoggoth lord flying into the side of the building. A bunch of people ran screaming in terror and madness. Tak then fired another portal down the street, revved her bike, drove through the portal, and then further down the street.

"That should buy us some time," Dib said.

"The problem is," Tak said, "I don't think it's going to give up. We've got to lead it to water, and I know what you have under your coat." As she said this, she realized just what kind of double meaning it could have.

She was right. The beast of horrid insanity raced down the street after them, knocking over everything in its path. The two on the bike, however, had gotten far from it. As they rounded another corner, they found exactly what they were looking for, the Amity Park…park, the one with the large lake. The shoggoth, however had gained plenty of speed and was almost ten feet from them. The bike itself was large enough to jump the low chain fence, causing it to fly through the air. The tentacles reached out to them even while in the air but still, the reach made it jump through the air towards them.

Dib looked back and saw one of the red eyes two inches from his head.

Tak fired another portal into the tree and another into the grassy portion behind the lake, causing them to fly to the other side, landing and skidding dirt, allowing them to watch the shoggoth fall splashing into the lake, sending a large wave across the moonlit park.

"Now, Dib!" Tak yelled.

He then pulled from his jacket the Yithian lighting gun. He had found it just lying around in the tomb of Abdul Alhazred and felt like it might come in handy one day.

He pulled the trigger, charged the weapon, and fired.

A huge burst of lighting burst forth and collided with both the beast and the water.

It wailed in pain, and in that same instant, exploded in a burst of fire, water, and slime.

The two breathed a sigh of relief, the slime of the demon covering the park.

"Wow," Dib said, "That wasn't so hard."

"Lets go home, hon," Tak said, and drove off down the road, leaving the remains behind them.

……

Dib sat on the bed. His mind was reeling from the implication of it all.

"What the hell did it mean?" Dib said.

"Dib, calm down," Tak said.

"I was already worried about my sister," Dib said, "and now I'm worried about myself as well."

"I know, Dib," Tak said.

"Something big is happening in this world," Dib said, "and many women, including my sister, know about it."

"I know, Dib," Tak said, and sighed, "I'm one of them."

"You are?" Dib asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes, dear," Tak said, "I've tried to hide it from you for awhile now, as I didn't want you to worry. But listen, because of this, I've seen the future, and everything is going to be fine. In truth, my dear, you and your sister become the heroes out of it. We're not meant to fail as a species, neither humans nor irkens. Not everything's going to fall apart; it was never their world, the Old Ones. It's ours. And I want you to know that I'm already proud of both of you, despite only speaking in future tense. Now, relax, my love."

She then pushed him down on the bed and looked him in the eyes, those eyes that reflected the very light of the ether. She then kissed him, and he was lost in silence. In this peaceful oblivion, the two made love in the beauty of glimpsing the other side, beyond this reality, pressed together, enwrapped in each other physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, two equals finding a quantum of solace in one another.

That night, Dib dreamt he was a warrior of Scotland, saving his dearest Tak from the oppressive hand of the English oppressors and finishing what William Wallace started.

Tak dreamt that she was a space travelling amazon, saving Dib from a tyrannical space pirate who had positioned himself as the ruler of a planet called F.A.K.K. 2 and taking him back to a starship that would be their home, flying silently through space and drifting off to the unknown.


	13. Act 3 scene 1

"Dead president's corpse in the driver's car/The engine runs on glue and tar/Come on along, we're not going very far/To the east, to meet the Czar

"Dead president's corpse in the driver's car/The engine runs on glue and tar/Come on along, we're not going very far/To the east, to meet the Czar." – Jim Morrison, "Not to Touch the Earth"

"I've got lizards and snakes running through my body/Funny how they all have my face." – Tori Amos, "Sweet Dreams"

The eclipse was near; Ron could tell by what little light was left from the sun. It wasn't much of natural light left for the world after THEY came. He looked out over the half decimated city, reflecting on what had gone on over the past few decades, with the death of his wife and child, of Drakken, of Shego, and all that he had known. He knew soon he and the rest of the survivors would join him.

It didn't matter. Nothing did anymore. The world was theirs now.

He looked over the edge of what was left of the building he was standing on. He saw so many squabbling in the streets, trying to survive in whatever way they could as all animals did. After many of the world's women had gone insane from seeing the apocalypse slowly descend upon the world, including Kim and Shego, the Old Ones rose out both the sea and sky, taking what they had said they would for so many years. Many of the major cities were destroyed, the farmlands blighted, and communication with the other nations lost.

This city was their haven to delay the inevitable. Guards were placed at every corner to defend it from the shoggoth lords, nightgaunts, and elder things. But it still wouldn't prevent what would surely come at last, when the eclipse would come, bringing the wrath of Azathoth upon the world.

The air of November was cold, causing Ron to pull his coat tighter. Or was it the cold feel of death creeping towards all of them?

It was soon. The moon was now about to cover the sun, but it didn't matter. He was ready for it, ready to see Kim and their child again.

As he looked up, the moon now fully covered the thin light through the hazy clouds. Darkness was creeping in. The shadow of the moon, however, now showed a new light, a hideous sight indeed, the three lobed burning eye of Nyarlathotep.

Kim awoke from this terrible nightmare to find the sun streaming in through the blinds of the bedroom. She looked over and saw her husband, Ron, sleeping peacefully next to her. Her mp3 alarm went off shortly thereafter, playing REM's "Belong" and causing him to stir. Kim's head stirred into full alertness, and she got up, put on her robe, and turned on the high definition television in their room, CNN being the first thing on. Both the alarm and the television would eventually raise Ron from his death like state of sleep in about ten minutes.

As she proceeded into the kitchen, she began reflecting on her dream. Was it a dream? All of it seemed real, seemed too vivid, going into Ron's mind and seeing his lament over things that had not yet come to pass. Ron really did love her, she knew that, but seeing what his mind state was like without her or the child they would eventually have was heart wrenching. She wouldn't tell him of what she saw, as it would frighten him to know that Kim was one of the many psychic women who were seeing these horrible things. The only thing she knew to do was to do something for him and immediately thought of it.

Ron finally awoke twenty minutes after the television and alarm went off. "Control" by POE was playing; he and Kim had numerous discussions on how Anne Danielwsky seemed like a combination of Tori Amos and Radiohead. Hearing this in his ear gave him just enough motivation to get the hell out of bed. He then stumbled out of the bedroom, half asleep, and saw Kim frying some eggs.

"Dammit, Ron," Kim said, smiling, "you ruined the surprise."

"Hey," Ron said, confused, "I thought it was my turn to make breakfast today."

"I won't tell if you don't," She responded, "So hush. It's still a surprise." She had just finished and was putting them on a plate for both of them. Ron walked over and picked up Sophia, Rufus's daughter, out of her cage, letting her run up and down the length of his arms.

"So, did you sleep well, hon?" He asked Kim.

"Yes," she lied and sat down, "did you?"

"Oh yes," he said, "I had that really awesome gladiator dream again, where Julius Caesar came to congratulate me, as did Brutus Pera coming back from his grave." This dream always made her laugh.

"So how is Yori doing?" She decided to ask.

"Well she and Ray finally got married."

"Ray Ray Lee?" She asked, shocked, "Didn't even know she liked younger men. Hey, I want to tell you something."

"What?" Ron said. Sophia was now resting on his shoulders, almost looking in the same anxiousness that Ron felt, as if she could understand them perfectly.

"I want you to know," she began, wondering how exactly she should, "that no matter what happens to me, to you, or to the rest of this world, that I will always love you and be with you. No matter what happens, I will not leave you. We've been through too much, and I can't imagine a moment without you. Even if the rest of the world falls away, I will always be with you. Please, know this."

"What are you saying, Kim?" Ron asked, concern written all over his face. He didn't need to see through her for this one.

"Because," Kim said, hesitating at first, "I'm one of the 2010 psychics. I just started having their dreams about a month ago."

"You should have told me," Ron said, reaching out his hand to touch hers.

"I didn't want you to worry," she continued, "and after ten years, with so many having these nightmares and visions, there really is something to this. Something big and horrible is coming; I think, however, that our purpose is to see what we can do, if there's anything we can do, to stop this."

"What's really to be done?" Ron rhetorically asked, knowing it was still unknown, "How can these ancient horrors, since they most likely exist, be stopped?"

"I don't know," Kim said, "but I think it has something to do with the Membrane girl, as she was the first affected by this. Either way, I shall provide what information I can and see where we would need to move and act."

Act 3, Scene 1: An area near the royal burial ground.

A horse drawn wagon rolls down a dirt pathway as rain slowly falls to the earth. The wagon is adorned with the rarest flowers, and inside lies the corpse of Herriman, who is actually still clearly breathing. Zim watches it pass by to the hill in a long line of mourners, dressed in the most regal of Scottish attire. He has already been crowned king and is now wearing the crown of the man he killed. There is a slight smirk on his mouth as it passes by, but no one notices. Danny is also there and is looking over at Zim.

DANNY: Thou hast it now: king, Cawdor, Glamis, all, as the weird women promised, and I fear thou played'st most foully for 't. Yet it was said it should not stand in thy posterity, but that myself should be the root and father of many kings. If there come truth from them— As upon thee, Macbeth, their speeches shine— Why, by the verities on thee made good, may they not be my oracles as well, and set me up in hope? But hush, no more.

The scene then changes to the inside of Macbeth's castle. Zim, Gaz, Cosmo, and Roxas, along with many lords and ladies, enter the scene. It has been a few days after the funeral, but they have now decided to celebrate the new coronation. In a time of war, Scotland was in a hurry to have a new king. Thus, the coronation had to be taken care of before the funeral. Zim notices Danny.

ZIM: Here's our chief guest!

GAZ: If he had been forgotten, it had been as a gap in our great feast, and all-thing unbecoming.

Zim holds up a goblet full of red wine, similar to the blood spilt upstairs a few nights ago.

ZIM: Tonight we hold a solemn supper, sir, and I'll request your presence.

DANNY: Let your highness command upon me, to the which my duties are with a most indissoluble tie forever knit.

ZIM: Ride you this afternoon?

DANNY: Ay, my good lord.

ZIM: We should have else desired your good advice— which still hath been both grave and prosperous— in this day's council, but we'll take tomorrow. Is 't far you ride?

DANNY: As far, my lord, as will fill up the time 'twixt this and supper. Go not my horse the better, I must become a borrower of the night for a dark hour or twain.

ZIM: Fail not our feast.

DANNY: My lord, I will not.

ZIM: We hear our bloody cousins are bestowed in England and in Ireland, not confessing their cruel parricide, filling their hearers with strange invention. But of that tomorrow, when therewithal we shall have cause of state craving us jointly. Hie you to horse. Adieu, till your return at night. Goes Fleance with you?

DANNY: Ay, my good lord. Our time does call upon 's.

ZIM: I wish your horses swift and sure of foot, and so I do commend you to their backs. Farewell.

Danny bows and takes his leave. Zim turns to the rest of the group.

ZIM: Let every man be master of his time till seven at night. To make society the sweeter welcome, we will keep ourself till suppertime alone. While then, God be with you!

Everyone takes their leave except for a very burly servant who looks like he has a lobotomy.

ZIM: Sirrah, a word with you. Attend those men our pleasure?

SERVANT: DUH, Dey arh, mah lord, witout da palace gaaaaaaaaaate.

ZIM: Very well. BRING THEM BEFORE TALLEST ZIM!

The servant wobbles out of the door, hitting his head on the frame but not thinking anything of it. With one final flail, his butt is still in the door, and he lets out a fart. For whatever reason, they don't edit this out of the film.

ZIM: To be thus is nothing, but to be safely thus. Our fears in Banquo stick deep, and in his royalty of nature reigns that which would be feared. 'Tis much he dares, and to that dauntless temper of his mind he hath a wisdom that doth guide his valor To act in safety. There is none but he whose being I do fear, and under him my genius is rebuked, as it is said Mark Antony's was by Caesar. He chid the sisters when first they put the name of king upon me and bade them speak to him. Then, prophetlike, they hailed him father to a line of kings. Upon my head they placed a fruitless crown and put a barren scepter in my grip, thence to be wrenched with an unlineal hand, no son of mine succeeding. If 't be so, for Banquo's issue have I filed my mind; for them the gracious Duncan have I murdered; put rancors in the vessel of my peace only for them; and mine eternal jewel given to the common enemy of man, to make them kings, the seed of Banquo kings! Rather than so, come fate into the list, and champion me to th' utterance. Who's there?

The servant wanders back into the room, holding PAIN and PANIC in each hand. Whenever Zim looks at these two, he can't help but feel some kinship with them, but can't quite place how.

ZIM: Now go to the door and stay there till we call.

The servant drops them both violently and begins to lumber towards the door, only to miss it entirely and walk through the wall, revealing parts of backstage and some anachronistic lights. Still, this is not removed from the film. Zim cringes and turns back to Pain and Panic.

ZIM: Was it not yesterday we spoke together?

PAIN: It was, so please your highness.

ZIM: Well then, now have you considered of my speeches? Know that it was he, in the times past, which held you so under fortune, which you thought had been our innocent self. This I made good to you in our last conference, passed in probation with you, how you were borne in hand, how crossed, the instruments, who wrought with them, and all things else that might to half a soul and to a notion crazed say, "Thus did Banquo."

PAIN: You made it known to us.

ZIM: I did so…AND WENT FURTHERRRRRRRRRR!! Which is now our point of second meeting. Do you find your patience so predominant in your nature that you can let this go? Are you so gospeled to pray for this good man and for his issue, whose heavy hand hath bowed you to the grave and beggared yours forever?

PAIN: Umm…I forgot the line…

PANIC: We are men, my lord.

ZIM: Ay, in the catalogue ye go for men, as hounds and greyhounds, mongrels, spaniels, curs, shoughs, water-rugs, and demi-wolves are clept all by the name of dogs. The valued file distinguishes the swift, the slow, the subtle, the housekeeper, the hunter, every one according to the gift which bounteous nature hath in him closed, whereby he does receive particular addition, from the bill that writes them all alike. And so of men. Now, if you have a station in the file, not i' th' worst rank of manhood, say 't, and I will put that business in your bosoms, whose execution takes your enemy off, grapples you to the heart and love of us, who wear our health but sickly in his life, which in his death were perfect.

PANIC: I am one, my liege, whom the vile blows and buffets of the world have so incensed that I am reckless what I do to spite the world.

PAIN: And I another so weary with disasters, tugged with fortune, that I would set my life on any chance, to mend it or be rid on 't.

ZIM: Both of you know Banquo was your enemy!

PAIN and PANIC: True my lord.

ZIM: SO HE IS MINE; and in such bloody distance that every minute of his being thrusts against my near'st of life. And though I could with barefaced power sweep him from my sight and bid my will avouch it, yet I must not, for certain friends that are both his and mine, whose loves I may not drop, but wail his fall who I myself struck down. And thence it is, that I to your assistance do make love, masking the business from the common eye for sundry weighty reasons.

PANIC: We shall, my lord, perform what you command us…Bomb-de-bomb…I feel like blowing something up…

PAIN: Though our thoughts…

Zim interrupts him, putting his hand over Pain's face, nearly covering it with a smile on his.

ZIM: Your spirits shine through you. Within this hour at most I will advise you where to plant yourselves, acquaint you with the perfect spy o' th' time, the moment on 't; for 't must be done tonight, and something from the palace; always thought that I require a clearness. And with him— to leave no rubs nor botches in the work— fleance, his son, that keeps him company, whose absence is no less material to me than is his father's, must embrace the fate of that dark hour. Resolve yourselves apart. I'll come to you…ANON!...

PAIN and PANIC: We are resolved, my lord.

ZIM: I'll call upon you straight. Abide within.

Pain and Panic bow and disappear in small explosions. Zim turns to the shadows to muse over his plot. He laughs.

ZIM: It is concluded. Banquo, thy soul's flight, if it find heaven, must find it out TONIGHT!

SCENE CUT!

Zim made his way backstage to see Gaz, who was still in her dress from on screen. She had not thought to change out of it before going back to a book by Edgar Casey. The thoughts of this man intrigued her immensely, and given her recent circumstances, many of his philosophies and outlooks on his gifts began reflecting hers. There was also a collection of books she had brought on the table beside her, among them were some writings of William James, Sir James George Frazer's _The Golden Bough_, _Tobin's Spirit Guide_, and an English translation of the dreaded _Necronomicon_, along with her GS5. As she read her book, there still remained the sound in her head of sirens, blaring out in some distant, deserted city. Or was it a town? The sirens rang out through her mind, a sonorous cacophony of some ancient evil rising from its sleep.

Zim approached her, still covered in kingly robes, but still carrying something in his pocket. He smiled at her, thoughts of taking her into the dressing room and having his way with her, along with the numerous planets they would conquer together.

She looked up at him, the sirens of her mind ending as she looked at him. She gave him a slight smirk.

"So how did the scene go?" Gaz asked.

"Oh you know," Zim began, "Horrid stink weasels who think they can act wander onto the set and the director doesn't cut them out, the usual."

"Horrid stink weasels," Gaz mused, "Is that a favorite phrase of yours? You seem to use it a lot."

"Well…yes…" Zim replied.

"I guess everyone has their limitations on wit." Gaz smiled, jokingly.

"Zim's wit knows no limitation!" Zim said, taking it more seriously than he should, "Oh what wit the ZIM DOTH HAVE!"

"Coming to my performance?" she asked her overly dramatic boyfriend.

"But of course Zim shall be there," Zim said in a tone of needless reassurance.

"Good," Gaz said, "I would have said I would chop your balls off if you didn't go, but then you'd be useless to me, so I guess if you didn't…I'd just…throw your robot bee down a well or something." It was then that Gaz realized the time she was spending with Zim was starting to make her sound more like him, which made her groan and smile on the inside at the same time.

"NO, NOT MY ROBOT BEE!" Zim said, failing to grasp his priorities, "But wait, aren't you tired of performing Shakespeare? The flyer you politely shoved in my face the other day said _Hamlet_ on it."

"That's what the flyer says," Gaz said, "but we're actually putting something different on. It's a surprise. I've also got to tell you that I'm actually meeting a friend there; she's going to provide me information."

"Information," Zim said, "And what form of informative stuff does this human have to provide."

"It's about the nodes," Gaz said, "where the Old Ones are supposedly meant to arise, and something is telling me Danny is going to have dealings with one of them. My friend's name is Cybil, just so you know."

So the hour came for the curtain call. The unsuspecting audience piled in, expecting to see the Danish prince battle his wicked uncle for the thousandth time. Yet, once they piled in all they and Zim saw was a crew creating the stage. Zim looked down at his program and saw none of the characters he expected to see, no Ophelia, no Rosencrantz, no Guildenstern, but he found his loves name listed playing the character of the daughter. The title of the play was unexpectedly different as well, _Six Characters in Search of an Audience_. Some people walked out in frustration, while others made comments such as, "Oh, this is the same surprise as the New York production."

Then, the characters came out, all in black and wearing creepy masks. Once the daughter spoke, Zim could tell it was Gaz. She delivered a performance nothing short of amazing and suiting to her personality. By the end of the play, when she jumped off the stage and ran down the aisles of the theater among the audience, cackling all the way, none could say they did not have chills down their spine.

Zim went backstage after it was over to tell her she did a marvelous job (and to watch her undress).

"Um, Gaz," Zim said sheepishly, still feeling the effect of the performance, "You did a fantastic job out there. Zim was not expecting that."

"Thanks," she said, changing in front of him; she didn't mind, as he'd seen her in less before.

"Well done, indeed," said a woman's voice behind them, "A Pirandello play is what I needed." Zim turned around to see a blonde woman walking up to the dressing room.

"Cybil," Gaz said, walking out from behind the door after changing, "Glad you could make it, and thanks."

"Who is this person?" Cybil asked, "And why does he have green skin? Is he one of them?"

"How dare you accuse me of being one of them!" Zim exclaimed, not really knowing to they were, "Um, who are they?"

"The Order," Cybil retorted, "They killed my husband and nearly killed my adopted daughter."

"Don't worry," Gaz said, "he couldn't take over the world if he tried, and believe me, he has."

"If only Zim had more resources available to him," Zim said, "Then I could have taken it."

"Anyways, I wanted to ask you about your experiences in Silent Hill," Gaz said.

"Yes," Cybil said, "Let me begin."

It was him. He walked up to his master's feet, his crablike claws holding the box that contained what his master wanted, the shining trapezohedron.

"Here is what you requested," he said in that high pitched voice.

"You've done well, my servant," the demon said, standing before him, baring the appearance as a dark pharaoh without a face, "Soon, our plans will be set in motion."

"Yes," he said, "and not even the Powerpuff Girls can stop us, nor the Membrane girl."

"Certainly not," the pharaoh responded, "But our enemies are still great in numbers. We must strike at them where we can."

"And if our plan fails, what shall we do," he said, his voice now deep and brooding.

"Then we'll have another chance," his master responded, "I've placed the marker in deep space, so that when the humans mine for resources in the star freighter Ishimura after their world falls away at their own doing, we can still turn them to us, and I, Nyarlathotep, with my army of necromorphs, will reign again. We were, we are, and we will be again. Now, go, and spread my message of destruction by destroying the Membranes and all who stand with them."

"Understood, my lord," he said, still maintaining the deep, demonic resonance in his voice. He then vanished into smoke and fire, off to perform the duty he was made to do, to throw the world into the maddening void into darkened oblivion.


	14. Act 3 scene 2

The next morning, everyone was at the set to shoot the next scene. They had to reset up the stage, as Happy Noodle Boy and GIR had knocked it over earlier. They had not done it directly, but had actually spilt hot coffee all over the director, who then, in turn, caused much of the set's destruction in his rage. They were still to blame of course for the agitation; Mr. Lancer was generally not at fault, one, because he supplied their salary for this stupid movie and two, because he generally lost accountability for his actions and was considered more of a force of nature in his anger moments.

It goes without saying that there were some injuries.

As Zim walked in, he nonchalantly stepped over several of the wounded crew. Since injuries on the set were so frequent with this film, it was commonplace and not worth him looking back at the weak humans with their weak skin and weak organs.

"Hey," Gaz said, coming out of nowhere and violently poking him in the ribs and kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey, yourself," Zim said, nursing his side, "Did you sleep well, even after what the Cybil beast told you."

"Yeah," Gaz said, "You should know not much gets to me. Anyways, did you prepare for the role this time?"

"But of COURSE!" he said triumphantly, "Zim is always prepared for the Shaky Spear."

"Last time, it seemed like you weren't putting much effort into it and reading it verbatim."

"If only that fool monkey beast would hold the cue card right," Zim began, referring to the person behind the camera who held cards up so Zim would remember his lines, "then I could actually capture the spirit of this Macbeth creature I am playing."

"Well, most actors memorize their lines before they go on," Gaz plainly stated as she and Zim walked towards the set, ready for the next scene to film.

"Ah, but shouldn't this spirit of the theater I've heard so much about possess me, without me having to memorize lines?" Zim asked, "Your old English can be hard to follow. And wasn't this dialect even dated during the Shaky Spear's time? His spirit should come and give me the correct lines; Zim should not have to bend his mind to understand a now erroneous way of speaking a should-be simple language such as human English."

"Well, best of luck, hon," Gaz said, pulling her hair out of her eyes and in place for how it should be, "because the cue card guy is among the injured you just stepped over. You're going to have to go off memory today"

"Wait, what?" Zim said.

The director called for action. Zim ran backstage for the scene, and the lobotomized lummox playing the servant shambled onto the set.

Act 3, Scene 2: Within Macbeth's castle.

Gaz paces the room for a moment or two and then turns to her servant, WILLY, who is standing and staring at the ceiling, drool coming out of his mouth and dressed only in boxers with rubber duckies on them.

GAZ: Is Banquo gone from court?

Willy then finally comprehends what he's staring at, which is indeed a rare type of beetle, found only in the Amazon and would surely be wanted by the local experts, this being Colorado. He then picks it up off the ceiling and eats it, finally giving Gaz's question its place in the cue of his mind.

WILLY: Dah, ay, madam, but heh returns aaaauh-gain tohnight!

GAZ (looking at this creature bewildered at why he was picked for the part): …Say to the king I would attend his leisure for a few words.

WILLY: Mahdam, ah will…

Willy then lumbers again through the wall of the set, completely ignoring the door. The audience can hear Zim screaming, "Put me down, I command you! Zim has had a major setback and is not prepare as of yet!"

GAZ: Naught's had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content. 'Tis safer to be that which we destroy than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy.

Willy then hurls Zim onto the set, causing him to land right in front of Gaz. Zim gets up awkwardly and stands there, nervous as hell.

GAZ: How now, my lord! Why do you keep alone, of sorriest fancies your companions making, using those thoughts which should indeed have died with them they think on? Things without all remedy should be without regard. What's done is done.

ZIM: Umm…we have scorched…something…some sort of lizard right? Oh the snake, but not killed it. She'll close and…be…herself? Wilst our poor malice remains…in DOOM of her former tooth. My meals and sleep shall be haunted by this ugly beast, but ZIM SHALL OVERCOME ALL!!! IT SHALL NOT HAVE ME!!! NOT WEAPON, NOT BEAST, nor the foul poisons from Willy's toilet, nor the FILTHY worm babies!!! NO ONE AND NOTHING!!!

GAZ (trying to go with it, patting him on the back): …Come on, gentle my lord, sleek o'er your rugged looks. Be bright and jovial among your guests tonight.

ZIM: So does Zim, my filthy swine of beauty. Remember the Banquo, and greet…eth his eye and tongue with joyous smileyness all around. Yet, unsafe are we that we must hide our intent…yes, Zim…Macbeth grow'eth anxious…I think.

GAZ (getting even more concerned): You must leave this.

ZIM: Oh, full of goo is Zim's mind, my love. You know that the Banquo and Fleance squid beasts still live?

GAZ: But in them nature's copy's not eterne.

ZIM: THERE'S RELIEF YET!!!! They are assailable. Then be thou jocund; ere the flying weasel has made his decent, ere to the dark booty of Cthulhu's summons the shard-borne beetle, with the dooky monster's stompings hath squinched his bad self into a bear suit, there shall be deed of DREADFUL PUDDING!!!

GAZ: Dammit, Zim, that didn't make a bit of fucking sen…

The screen cuts off and goes back to Gaz saying her correct line, whether they corrected Zim's stupidity or not. Gaz has little excuse for going off script because consensus says God miracled her skull with a brain, unlike many of the cast.

GAZ: What's to be done?

ZIM: Let us be stupid of the knowledge, dearest piggy, till we perform our evil deed. Come, blessed, liquidy black sky, scarf up the tender eye of the pitiful, doomed head of the day, like the Dib's giant head consumes the smelly corn of Indiana. Light thickens. Good things of day begin to fall out of their place to where all things eventually lead, into the wretched Filthy Piggy Toilet, with all its octopoid creatures in t-shirts!

Gaz and the rest of the crew look at him in the weirdest of ways; they've given up trying to make sense out of it, or for that matter, editing this entire scene to make proper sense. Zim then looks directly into the camera, as if addressing the audience.

ZIM: Thou marvel'st at my words, but HOLD THEE STILL! Things bad begun make strong themselves by ill. So prithee go with ME, ZIM!!! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...ha, ha, heee…I am normal…

SCENE CUT!!!

Gaz wanted to beat the ever living crap out of Zim. She made a slight growl, fists clinched, but instead calmed down, walked over to a nearby chair and sat down, crossing her legs. She was doing what her anger management specialist informed her to do, to bottle it away and suffer the stupidity of others, as many people her age had to do. She did have something to calm her down, as Gir walked over with his head open, roasted nuts inside for her to eat.

"You wants da nuts?" Gir asked, drawing out the syllables. He walked over next to her and squatted down, wiggling his butt to prepare his empty head to be eaten out of. "And after that, I've gots me some piggy poo. Wouldn't you like?"

"Umm, maybe later," Gaz answered, knowing that if she said no, he was going to throw a maddening fit her nerves really weren't ready for. She then began eating the nuts out of his head.

Zim looked at this scene with some sense that it just sounded dirty. Then he looked at her one exposed leg through the slit in her dress and realized that the dirtiness fit. His thoughts, however, turned to the victory he would surly have with what lay in his pocket.

"Zim," Gaz said calmly, but with a hint of something sinister lying beneath.

"Yes, my pig tasting human?"

"I have to congratulate you for single handedly ruining that scene," Gaz said in a now biting tone, "I'm sure that if Shakespeare could have heard you, he would rise from his rotting box and personally come over and eat your brains for that atrocity."

"If only the card man had stronger organs," Zim growled in his excuse, "then maybe Zim would not have such difficulty with the lines of this zombie spear you speak of."

"Meh," Gaz said dismissingly, "There were worse productions, I guess, like the one Jimmy Neutron performed in. But I actually just had another thought."

"Eh?" Zim asked.

"Yes, this is random, but have you noticed during the late '80s and early '90s, Midway games like _N.A.R.C_ and _Total Carnage_ seemed to take great stride in making the last boss a giant tank in the shape of the main antagonist's head? I mean, what moron would do that? Oh, sure, I'll bet all the world's dictators are egocentric enough to design their doomsday weapons specifically to look like them." She then looked over at the giant Cthulhu statue backstage that the director was going to use for Hecate and reached some odd connection with what she was saying with this…thing that resembled the beast from her nightmares.

"Yup," Zim said, banishing some of the thoughts he had in his head about his own plans to conquer worlds, "They are…pretty silly." Hey, have you been having that dream still?

"You mean the one about the zombies?" Gaz asked rhetorically, "Yes."

"Yeah, they're starting to become a pain," Zim said, "They move a lot quicker than that mall-beast Slab's. They're a lot more like Zack Snyder's 'Dawn of the Dead' remake."

"Yeah, well," Gaz continued, "if they start saying, 'Join us,' or, 'Dead by dawn,' I'm drilling a hole in my head like that one guy in 'Pi.'

She looked into Zim's eyes with a puzzled look.

"Are you hiding something?" Gaz said, only a hint of psychic power being used for this one.

"Umm, no, love," Zim responded, putting his hand in his pocket, "What would Zim possibly have to hide from…" With that, all his inhibitions left and he jumped on top of Gaz, pinned her to the floor with his waist, and pulled the box from his pocket, which clearly contained a silver ring with a shining garnet inside of it. "MARRY ME! MARRY ZIM!!! WE MUST BE JOINED, YOU AND I!!!"

There was a long, awkward silence. They stared at each other for the longest time, both feeling a sense of indignation, yet the sense of passion and bestial desire for one another, instinct and intellect not matching at all, so much so that neither noticed the crowd that had gathered around them, Mandy, Olga, and Tak included. Mandy was thinking a mixture of things, one that it was the stupidest thing Gaz could do, marriage, and the other thinking it was the best and most logical of things going for her. Olga was hoping Gaz would say yes, as it was probably the most romantic thing she had seen in so long; she was only hoping Piff could be as such. Tak smiled, knowing the outcome that no one else did, even without psychic force.

Dib was there too, but at the same time, wasn't. His mind just couldn't comprehend the scene before him, his arch rival for so many years asking his sister to marry him. He could only stare, saucer eyed, as his mind was trying and failing to blot out this picture he had dreaded for so long, yet at the same time, believing it right. After all, Zim had shown some sign of reform…or maybe not.

The silence lasted two minutes, but those minutes felt like an eternity. It was Gaz, however, who broke the silence.

"Listen, Zim, and listen well," She then threw him off of her and, upon standing, pulled him up by the collar of his shirt. There was another pause, Gaz staring deep into Zim's eyes, wanting him to understand their cold implications, until finally she said, "We do this my way, too, without you over me. We're ruling our galaxy together…my love." She then pulled him to her, still holding his collar, and forced his lips onto hers.

Everyone cheered.

And the curtains fell with a thud, with the sound of Noodle Boy's incessant ranting and Gir shouting something about pig feces.

……

"Everything's set," Nyarlathotep said, sitting in the darkness, "All I need do is bide my time, and since I have stolen Yog-Sothoth's powers, I obviously have plenty of that." He then cackled, sending a maddening echo across the empty, black void.


	15. Act 3 scene 3

A/N: I sed schtup flamin da storee! No, I'm joking. Done. Finally, another scene done. And I said I wouldn't do serious writing for awhile. Then, it hit me, "I don't know how to be funny!" So this was the result, and man, does it hurt my head. Please, remind me again why I continue to write this stupid crap. None of the characters are like what they were in the show (although my intent was to make them more realistic and three dimensional, I fear I've inserted a bit of myself in them; But how can a writer not?). Please Lord, let these poor creatures in the story not succumb to stupidity; lead them not into Mary Sue-ish behavior. And damn it, why is Tak being so nice? I'm hoping it's because a bit of humanity has rubbed off on her in the five years she's spent on Earth and because it's Dib with whom she's speaking, her and him being the closest thing that show had to a canon pairing. In all honesty, my goal is your entertainment. Hope you like.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

It had been some time since Zim's awkward proposal, but that still didn't stop the excitement brooding inside of Olga to know every single detail she could. The terrible threesome was at Gaz and Zim's apartment, having another girl's night when she decided to bring it up again.

"So, have you set a date yet?" Olga asked Gaz as she moved her pawn in to take Gaz's bishop. They had been leaning over this chess board for hours, neither one of them really understanding the other's pattern of attack. Rather, it made too much sense, so both could easily counter the other's movements. Thus, the game remained in stalemate for a long period of time.

"No," Gaz said, "But it should be later this year." She moved her other bishop in to take Olga's knight.

"I don't see why you said yes," Mandy said, eyes glued to the television, "Romance is for the weak." She was watching Sister Street Fighter, yet another of the many grindhouse films she loved so very much. No matter how dumb these movies were, they could not have been as dumb as what was waiting for her whenever she arrived home. She was only half paying attention to it and half paying attention to Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl", which softly played out of stereo somewhere in the back of the room.

"Bullshit, Mandy," Olga retorted, "You knew she was going to marry Zim eventually. Besides, you're a fine one to talk, having married Billy."

"It was out of convenience," Mandy responded, picking up a piece of popcorn out of a bowl on the table near her, tossing it into the air, and catching it in her mouth.

"That's also bullshit," Gaz said under her breath, trying to find Olga's weakness within the small world of light and dark squares. "So, how are you and your new boy, Olga?"

"New boy?" Mandy asked, slightly shocked, "You only broke up with Piff two weeks ago, and now you're dating someone new?"

"Piff and I weren't really that serious," Olga said, "Besides, I knew this guy liked me for awhile, so I thought I'd give him at least a hair of a chance to impress me."

"I see," Mandy said nonchalantly, "So who is it?"

"Well," Olga said, "it's someone I've known for awhile."

"Do I know him?" Mandy asked.

"Yes," Olga said sheepishly, making her move on the chessboard, losing focus and making herself completely vulnerable.

Mandy flipped over the couch to face the two of them.

"Name?" Mandy asked, a small harshness in her voice.

"I'd really rather not," Olga stated, showing only a hint of fear.

"Gaz, do you know?" Mandy asked, sounding slightly more agitated.

"Yes," Gaz said in a very plain voice, making her final move and leaving Olga in checkmate. "Why so angry about it? What's it to you?"

"If I know him," Mandy said, sounding a little calmer, trying to watch the blood pressure problem her doctor brought to her attention last week, "I've got to approve. I'm only looking out for her and, if I know the guy, for him. Don't you know we have to have some consensus between us?"

"And she can't make a decision for herself?" Gaz said smugly, looking up at her. "Is it that you don't like secrets or just that you like to be in control of your friends?" With that, Mandy actually did become angry and thrust Gaz against a wall.

"You know better than that, Gaz," Mandy said, holding the collar of Gaz's shirt and leaning in close to her face.

Gaz had a completely indifferent expression, one showing a complete liberation of any form of intimidation. She then stuck her tongue out and licked what little of a nose Mandy had. Mandy then let go, staggering back and wiping the moisture from her nose, growling as she did. Olga walked over and put her hand on Mandy's shoulder.

"Both of you, cut it out," Olga said, "You two are both in your 30's, so act like it. Mandy, I will tell you when I'm ready to tell you and when I think you're ready to hear it. Besides, he's going to be in the next scene of the stupid movie we're making. Now I want you two to hug and make up." At Olga's request, Gaz and Mandy gave slightly forgiving smirks and hugged. "We're a tough group of sisters, and we're going to fight, but we're all we have. And we're going to make this movie better than Dakota Fanning, Daveigh Chase, or AnnaSophia Robb ever could, no matter how many Oscars they've won so far. This is 2022, a time for a new breed of dark actress."

Then, having let go, Gaz slapped Mandy's butt, her thick black denim pants giving her a brief rugged burn.

"What the hell?" Mandy said, yelping a little and laughing.

"You got your wish," Gaz said, pointing to the chess board, "You get to play winner."

"Oh, I'm making you my bitch tonight, Gaz," Mandy chided.

"Hey, no fair," Olga said, "I was distracted." She walked over and plopped on the couch to watch the rest of the movie. "Damn it, now I'm bored. Anyway, where's Tak? Shouldn't she be with us?"

………

Dib and Tak trudged through the bogs of Rick's Lake in Wisconsin, trying to find the best place to set up the camera. Lancer had demanded that they film on location in a swamp, but because of his current stomach illness, he had little desire to travel. Instead, he had thrust the camera at Dib and informed him to get himself there by the next night. The weather was perfect, and the team was behind schedule, so the filming had to be done tonight. Tak came along to provide the special effects based off the various technologies from her home world, namely a natural looking fog machine that recycled air so as never to deplete.

Pain and Panic followed behind them. They were fairly used to the environment, as the Styx River was not so different than the terrain facing them, although Panic seemed to be slightly uneasy. Danny, David, and the unknown newcomer (who would only appear during that night's film session) said they would catch up soon.

"Damn it all," Tak said, agitated at the swamp water soaking through her boots and ankle portion of her black slacks, "Why did that pathetic stink beast feel he absolutely had to have an on-location swamp? Couldn't he have just as easily crafted a set for one?" She then thought about the pain Zim would endure in such a place as this. She wasn't wearing her disguise, taking advantage of the night and staying out of the public eye.

"I think he wanted the added realism," Dib said, "He seems to be kind of a stiffler about it. But we should be approaching a drier flatland soon."

"Eh," grunted Pain, "I'm used to these shitty conditions."

"Speak for yourself," Panic said, "All this wetness is making me want to burn something." He then grabbed his tail and started nervously rolling his tail in his hands and chewing on the tip. Pain raised his eyebrow.

"What's your problem?" Pain asked, somewhat disturbed, "You've been on this major pyromaniac kick for weeks."

"I can't explain it right now," Panic said, still gazing at the water, his tail still in his hands, "It kind of involves the boss, kind of not."

"I must have not gotten that email," Pain said, "What the hell's going on?"

"Exactly," Panic blurted out of his halitosis riddled mouth.

"Will you two pig weasels shut up for two minutes?" Tak shouted, "We're trying to find a good spot to film." Her antennae were twitching with an unheard of frenzy; she was not in her disguise, and her antennae always did this whenever she had a bad sense of things, especially during her nightmares.

The four emerged onto a muddy patch of land. The grass grew in small bushes that pushed out like weeping willows, and the trees reached up as if crying out to the small stars for the nourishing ultraviolet rays. The trunks of these trees seemed to need it, as they merely resembled giant femur bones. There was an unusual amount of fog around this area which seemed to linger and stop at roughly three feet in the air, as if held down from getting any higher by some invisible plate glass.

"Well," Tak said, "I guess that makes my fog machine useless."

"It's here," Panic said under his breath, but his words could not escape the company's ears.

"What's here?" Dib asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing," Panic said in between chewing tip of his tail, "Nothing at all."

"Hey, we made it," Danny yelled in the distance, walking along with his son and Nergal the second, Billy's cousin. They were leading two horses who both seemed to buck and winnie at the sight of the grove.

"Glad you could join," Dib said, "We found the perfect spot to film." For a moment, however, his mind wandered from the project to whether the place was haunted. _Wouldn't it be awesome if this place was?_ he thought.

Tak knew it was but said nothing; she didn't want to upset things further.

Panic showed it in his great disarray of teeth marks in his tail.

"This place reminds me of home," Nergal said, his voice as dry as ever.

"Same here," Pain said, "I think Styx looked a bit more pleasant."

"And I know it did," Panic said, his speech sounding more frantic, "We shouldn't be here. It's going to follow us."

"What is?" Dib asked, "You've been babbling about this all night. You think Tak and I should call the B.P.R.D.? I left most of my paranormal equipment back in the truck."

"No, no," Panic said, "We'll be fine, fine, right and dandy."

"Well, you'd better calm down," Pain said, "You're starting to sound more bat-shit insane by the second."

"Enough," Tak said, "The sooner we get to filming, the sooner we can get out of here."

"Fine by me," Nergal Jr. said, readying himself for the part. His clothes shifted in what looked like snaky tentacles from the black turtleneck to dark armor, reflective of his willingness to crush anything that got in his way.

Act III, Scene 3: Swamp several miles away from Castle Macbeth

The scene itself is very dark. The mist lingers only a few feet above the ground, as if fearing the dreaded atmosphere and the beyond. The three murderers enter the scene, Pain, Panic, and their accomplice, NERGAL, and all crouch in wait behind a tree. Nergal props himself up against the tree, while the others stay in the cover of the mist and tall grass. Pain turns to Nergal.

PAIN: And who told you that you could come?!

NERGAL: Lancer did, you moron. Olga talked me into making this stupid movie.

PAIN: No I mean in the story. We're rolling.

NERGAL: You threw me off; that wasn't the line.

PAIN: Damn it, I got one good scene of memorizing that old English crap. Can't I just paraphrase the lines?

NERGAL: You ate the script, didn't you, porker?

PAIN: …it tasted like thin mints. But that's not the point. The point is that I have to deliver a line that makes sense. Darkmoose84 already put too much off-topic, meandering plot in this, and Panic's mental deficiency still leaves the audience wondering what is going on, so we should stick to the play.

The two look at the camera for a moment and know what has happened: the fourth wall had been broken. They then returned to the film.

PAIN: And who told you that you could come?

NERGAL: Macbeth.

PANIC: He needs not our mistrust. (to himself) I mean, look at him; he's almost like the boss. (to Pain) He delivers our offices and what we have to do to the direction just.

PAIN: Then I guess he can stay. Is there still a hint of daylight? I don't see it. Either way, everyone's getting to their homes and inns. Banquo is almost here.

NERGAL: Hark, I hear horses.

Horses make their way onto the screen through the fog. Atop these horses are Danny and David. They fade into what little light there is left in the small area. David's horse jumps over something almost unseen within the tall grass, something that might have been the ancient ruins of some meeting ground of a forgotten cult.

DANNY: Give us a light there, ho!

David holds up his hand and, just like his dad taught him, generates a floating green ecto-energized flame that then hovers above their heads, giving them enough light to see. They then find that the grass has indeed all but completely overgrown over marble stone slabs, uncharacteristic of what one might expect in Wisconsin. Both actors have surprised looks on their faces, as do the two camera technicians, Dib and Tak, but since they're offstage, the audience can only see that Danny and David address their reactions with even more questioning looks. Still, they try and go on with the scene.

PANIC: There is something here…no, no…have to keep going…Then 'tis he: the rest that are within the note of expectation already are i' th' court.

Danny and David dismount and tie the reigns of the horses to two adjacent trees.

PAIN: It sounds like their horses moved to a stop.

NERGAL: (gritting his teeth; ready to kill) Almost a mile; but he does usually—so all men do—from hence to the palace gate make it their walk.

Danny and David walk a bit further into the open area. The scene resembles a stage similar to that of the Mt. Parnassus Theater and carries with it the same overwhelming, ominous vastness and the foreboding of many Greek dramas that had taken place there.

PANIC: (stuttering) A…a…a…light! A…a…light!

NERGAL: (growling) 'Tis he.

PAIN: (snorting) Get ready!

Danny looks up.

DANNY: It will be rain tonight.

Pain, Panic, and Nergal Jr. appear before Danny in a cloud of smoke. Pain and Panic are holding fireballs in each hand, while Nergal has generated a sword of fire and visible dark matter, gravity pulling in upon gravity, a black hole made into a blade.

PAIN: Then let it come down on you, bastard!

Danny generates a sword of green energy and prepares himself. Nergal is the first to attack, swinging wildly like an agitated shark at the sight of blood. Danny, however, is quick to block the attack and flies into the air. Nergal follows him upward, growing black membranous wings from his back, and the two trade sword slashes at each other, neither one of them making a scratch at the other's flesh. This sword fight, however, is only a smoke screen to the real threat, as Pain and Panic nod to each other and begin launching a barrage of fireballs generated from their palms at Danny.

PANIC: Bomb-de-bomb! Bomb-de-bomb!

In an instant, Danny is thrown off balance by the flames and falls to the ground, charred and smoking, his armor slightly melted here and there. The three stand over Danny, their Blitzkrieg tactics having proven effective. David can only watch in horror at what has become of his father, a genuine look of shock upon his face.

DANNY: O treachery! Fly, good Fleance, fly, fly, fly! Thou may 'st revenge —O slave!

Danny lowers his head, and his character's life extinguishes like the flame of a lamp having been drained of its oil. David, without another thought, runs off into the darkness and the unknown. The ghostly flame he had lit disappears, and the murderers are left in the darkness.

NERGAL: Who did strike out the light?

PAIN: Wouldn't that have been better?

NERGAL: There's but one down. The son is fled.

PANIC: We've fed it…the thing and the memories…we've fed the monster that lives here…We have lost best half of our affair.

PAIN: What the hell are you still babbling about? You're breakin' character. Well, we can at least tell Macbeth that we've accomplished killing Banquo.

SCENE CUT!!!

"Guys," Dib said, "I think Lancer's going to be very happy with this. We can just edit out the needless add-libing."

"Great," Tak said, "Now can we leave? This place isn't sitting very well with me."

"It's too late for that," Panic muttered, falling to his knees, "We've tread where he was."

"Who?" Dib said, "You're not making any sense."

"You've been more jittery than normal," Pain said, "And that's really starting to scare me."

"The faceless one," Panic continued, "Yet he has many faces. You, Dib, and your lady person are the paranormal experts; you should know who he is. He is the messenger and the deceiver, the Dweller in Darkness." Panic started up and pointed his finger with an earnestness and agitation of a cat in a thunderstorm. "There. Do you see? He comes! The Haunter of the Dark is here! This was his temple, and he desires to reclaim this world!"

The others looked over to see where he was pointing, only to find the familiar darkness and silence brought by the night; even the horses still tied to the trees remained calm. Yet, the ferocious anxiety of their companion opened to them their own frightful apprehension of what unseen phantasmagoria could be laying within that unknown shadow, so much so that their empathy and understanding of his situation was complete, and they felt the oldest and most primordial type of fear.

For two full minutes, the seven there assembled stood in the silence and shadow. Once the fear of something within that darkness was gone, and they saw that there truly was nothing to fear, Pain was the first to shatter the noiseless air.

"C'mon, buddy," Pain said, "It's time to get you home. You've had a rough day." He walked over and held Panic in a friendly hug, and the two disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Is he going to be okay, dad?" David said, "I hope whatever was here is gone." His tone carried with it an air of not only understanding but also curiosity, as if he were entangled to know the truth behind these ruins.

"Yes, son," Danny said, "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"He's never been fine," Nergal said, still holding a dry voice, "And like Tak said, let's get out of here. I've got a bad feeling about this place, too. Whatever's here, it's seeming to clash with my own energy."

The group began to leave, untying the horses and heading back to the truck. Dib, however, turned around to look back at the site.

"What is it?" Tak asked, noticing a change in his spirit.

"I've got to set up equipment here," Dib said, "Who knows what could be dwelling there. I think Panic might have been talking about Nyarlathotep, the Egyptian demon who can take on many forms. Then there are the rumors about some professor having vanished here. Maybe we can get a giger counter and see if there is any past negative residue. Perhaps we could use it's own power against it. I mean, look what it did to Panic."

"Dib," Tak said, "Let it go." She walked over and held his hand. "I don't care what happened here and doubt it would be worth our while to find anything further; whatever was here, it's no longer a threat and only carries with it past negative energy. Yes, I know your quest for all things unknown in our universe, but if you stare long enough into the abyss, it stares back into you. Believe me, there's nothing I would like better than harnessing some ancient power to rain destruction on that stupid soon to be brother-in-law of yours. Gaz is a woman after my own squedly spooge and deserves better."

"Yeah, I can't believe she said yes," Dib said, his mind now on a new topic, "But then, like I've always thought, they both have many traits that compliment. And maybe we really should just let bygones be bygones. Zim has done quite a lot of useful things as of late, like helping us when we battled the xenomorph hive on the Odin."

"Yes, agreed," Tak said, "but contrary to what I would like to do, I resist the urge to pursue such power, as I've seen the self-destructive qualities it brings. Look at Dr. Faustus or, for that matter, Nergal over there. So please, be the Dib I've always known and keep focus on that which is good and right while still researching where the real threats to your planet lie, not just senselessly chasing ghosts of the past. And believe me, I think I know where the real Nyarlathotep is going to strike."

"Where?" Dib said.

"The last dream I had was of a great city in Syria. And there was what looked like a sepulcher."

"Syria?" Dib asked rhetorically, his voice sounding as if something had dawned upon him, "Could that city be Damascus, where Abdul Alhazred is buried? But I found that tomb years ago, and none of my spectral indicators picked anything up. It was a dead end, although I did snag a few priceless artifacts from it."

"Yes," Tak said, "Maybe it was then. But I think something is coming within the next year, which will be exactly 100 years since the raid on Innsmouth. The year 2023 I fear will release something monstrous."

"Then there's no time to waste," Dib said, "We need to get a team there to investigate and fast." Dib began walking back towards the truck to begin calling the B.P.R.D.

"And Dib," Tak said, still holding fast his hand.

"Yes, Tak?" he asked.

"While I can't speak for Gaz," she began, "I at least know I'm marrying the right man." She leaned in and kissed him. "Now let us head home. I think I might wear that stupid bunny costume I know you like."

"You know you don't have to," Dib said, smiling.

"Yeah," Tak said, "But I know you like it when I dress up, and it does make me feel 'sexy,' as you humans call it."

"You know I love you," Dib said, curling his index finger in her antennae, "with or without it." He kissed her again, his lips sending joyous sparks through every fiber of her being. "But really, when you offer it, how can I refuse?"


	16. Act 3 Scene 4 pt 1

A/N: I only wrote one part of this scene since it was really long, and I needed to go to sleep. I wanted something out there for you all to read.

Lancer said that he was fired up because of the last scene. Everything in that swamp was beautiful, and he gave a special round of applause for Dib, Tak, Danny, and the rest of the cast dumb enough to go out there. Now, he let everyone on the set know that he expects no less than the perfection he saw from them.

"Are you in any way further prepared for this, Zim?" Gaz asked chidingly, poking him in the ribs.

"Well, Zim's brain has become educated on this smelly screenplay," Zim said, looking up at her smirking mouth, "But I feel like this scene will irritate Zim no end."

"Why?" Gaz asked.

"It involves me getting drenched," Zim said, "and Zim was not looking forward to the burning of the skin."

"And how many times do I have to tell you it's all in your paranoid head?" Gaz asked rhetorically, "I still say that you need to speak with a doctor about your weird hypochondriac fear of water-based anything burning you. You wouldn't be able to kiss me otherwise, as I'm about 80 percent water."

"You mean, you human monkeys are made of water?" Zim said in pure astonishment, "Why did Gir fail to tell me this in his report?"

He pondered this question for a moment and realized that he never did get very much information from Gir in the first place.

"Oh yeah," Zim said, "I keep forgetting how unreliable that robot is."

Gaz had her general expression of agitation but tried to remain calm. Her man generally did have minor stupid lapses that she had gotten used to over the years. She was fighting that juxtaposition of being understanding and wanting to pummel him into the ground. She tried forcing a smile.

"Tell you what, Zim, my love," Gaz said, "If you keep from screwing this one up, I'll give you the best night of love-making we've had in a while."

"Otherwise?" Zim said, fearing the answer but looking forward to the prospect of success.

"Otherwise," Gaz said, leaning closer, "I'm going to set your robot bee on fire and then slowly remove your eyes with a cork-screw."

"So, either way, Zim gets screwed," Zim said, "But why my robot bee?"

"Keep that in mind as you go through this scene," Gaz said, "It takes just as much effort to make this scene work as it does to mess it up. One screw or another; make your choice."

"Alright," Zim said, having that cocky smile on his face, "I have accepted this challenge. Zim shall capture the essence of this Shaky Spear once and for ALL!" He then took Gaz by her hand and led her into the room as the scene began.

Act III, Scene 4: The banquet hall of Castle Macbeth.

Zim leads Gaz by the hand into the room, where Roxas, Cosmo, and various other lords are gathered around a large table full of food.

ZIM: You know your own degrees…sit down…At first and last, the hearty welcome.

The others sit down. Gaz looks at Zim in surprise, as he hasn't shown any signs of deviating from the script.

ALL THE LORDS AT ONCE: Thanks to your majesty!

ZIM: Ourself will mingle…with society? And play the humble host. Our hostess keeps her state, but in the best time…we will require her welcome. (breaths a sigh of relief)

GAZ: (whispering to Zim) You're cutting it close. Watch it. (Aloud) Pronounce it for me, sir, to all our friends, for my heart speaks they are welcome.

Pain enters the room from the shadows and beckons Zim.

ZIM: See, they encounter thee with their hearts' thanks. Both sides are even. Here I'll sit i' th' midst. Be large in mirth. Anon we'll drink a measure the table round. (to Pain, getting enough distance from Gaz to relax from speaking the specific lines) Hey, you've got char on your face. And is that blood?

PAIN: Then it must be Banquo's.

ZIM: Well, better on you than in him. So…you dispatched him?

PAIN: My lord, we burnt him alive. I helped out on that.

ZIM: Thou art the best of the grillers. And whoever did Fleance must be great as well. Did you do him as well? That would make you EVEN BETTER!!!

Gaz looks over at Zim and shakes her head.

PAIN: Umm…Fleance kind of escaped.

ZIM: What? You let Fleance escape? And you still call yourself a part of Zim's army? Now I'm afraid that the weird sisters' prediction shall come true. As long as he lives, Banquo's blood still festers on this festering dirt ball, like a giant TICK OF DOOM! I had else been perfect, whole as the marble, founded as the rock, as broad and general as the casing air. But now I am cabined, cribbed, confined, bound in to SAUCY DOUBTS AND FEARS!!!

There is a moments pause where everyone breaks character and looks at Zim, including Gaz. She smiles again.

ZIM: (breaking silence) …But Banquo's safe?

GAZ: (to herself) Nice recovery.

PAIN: Yes, my lord. He's lying dead somewhere in a ditch, covered from head to toe in third degree burns, obviously enough to kill him.

ZIM: Thanks for that…THERE the grown serpent lies. The worm that's fled hath nature that in time will the stink venom breed; no teeth for th' present. Get thee gone. Tomorrow we'll hear ourselves again.

Pain disappears on a small cloud of smoke and fire. For reasons unexplained to the viewers, from offstage, Raffi can be heard singing "Baby Beluga" at nightmarishly high volume.

GAZ: Turn that shit off!

GIR: (from offstage) Aww, but I like the song about the whale. The beluga is my friend, and I said I'd listen to his song.

GAZ: I don't care, Gir; turn it off, or I'm removing your head.

TAK: (from offstage) Can you turn the stupid thing off, darling?

DIB: (also offstage) I'm trying, but the damn power switch won't move, and the next track button won't work.

TAK: (os) Did you try to unplug it?

DIB: (os) Yes, but it looks like it's running on battery power, and you can't take the battery out of this thing.

TAK: (os) Ugh, and the volume won't turn down either. Bloody hell. You're just going to have to go with it; we don't have time for another take.

Tak actually knows they had time to cut, but she also knows Zim's performance was only going to go downhill if they have to start again. Gaz looks straight into the camera, an uncomfortable look on her face and her eyes remaining unblinking saucers, all the while, Raffi is singing the line, "And a little white whale on the go."

GIR: And da best part? It's on repeat!...I love those little whales.

GAZ: Ugh, fine. If the B.P.R.D.'s Mulder and Scully can't solve the case of the mysterious thing that won't shut up, let's just go on. My royal lord, you do not give the cheer. The feast is sold that is not often vouched, while 'tis a-making, 'tis given with welcome. To feed were best at home; from thence, the sauce to meat is ceremony; meeting were bare without it.

ZIM: SWEET REMEMBRANCER!!!

Zim raises a glass to the group, but the song looks like it is making his face twitch.

ZIM: Now, good digestion wait on appetite, and health on both!

His right eye twitches a bit further because of the dumb song.

ZIM: GIR, REMOVE THE IPOD FROM THIS VACINITY!

GIR: Aww, do I have to?

ZIM: Yes! It's making everyone sick.

GIR: No, and you can't make me! The whale needs me…Don't make the whale cry!

The camera shuts off, and some struggling can be heard in the darkness. Once the camera turns back on, Zim is in the same position he was in, holding the goblet high, this time without the annoying song to get on everyone's nerves. At the table, however, there begins to form a dark cloud, and soon in its place is Danny, charred as he was in the last scene.

COSMO: Why don't you have a seat, your majesty?

Zim looks over and sees a person there but doesn't recognize him.

ZIM: Here had we now our country's honor roofed, were the graced person of our Banquo present, who may I rather challenge for unkindness than pity for mischance.

ROXAS: His absence, sir, lays blame upon his promise. Please 't your highness to grace us with your royal company?

ZIM: The table's full.

ROXAS: Here is a place reserved, sir.

ZIM: Where?

ROXAS: Here, my good lord. What is 't that moves your highness?

Danny turns his head around to face Zim, revealing his severely burned face, his eyes sunken in and portions of his skin bleeding ectoplasm.

ZIM: Which of you have done this?

THE GROUP AS A WHOLE: What, my good lord?

ZIM: Thou canst not say I did it. Never shake thy gory locks at me.

Danny stands up and begins walking towards Zim like a zombie, his eyes beginning to bleed as well.

ROXAS: Gentlemen, rise. His highness is not well.

Danny then begins to hover over Zim, causing him to cower low to the ground. He then vomits a large torrent of ectoplasm onto Zim, bathing him in it.

GAZ: Sit, worthy friends. My lord is often thus and hath been from his youth. Pray you, keep seat. The fit is momentary; upon a thought he will again be well. If much you note him, you shall offend him and extend his passion. Feed and regard him not.

Gaz leans down to Zim, as if she was going to comfort him, when all she's going to do is chastise him.

GAZ: Are you a man? (under her breath) By the way, I'll admit you're doing a lot better.

ZIM: Ay, and a bold one, that dare look on that which might appall the soul-stealing Mortos.

GAZ: O proper stuff! This is the very painting of your fear. This is the air-drawn dagger which you said led you to Duncan. Oh, these flaws and starts, impostors to true fear, would well become a woman's story at a winter's fire, authorized by her grandam. Shame itself! Why do you make such faces? When all's done, you look but on a stool.

ZIM: Prithee, see there! See! See!

Danny looms closer and ignites in a large green flame, reflective of his own death at the hands of Pain and Panic. All of the sudden, "Baby Beluga" begins again. Danny turns over to look where it's coming from and slaps himself in the head.

DANNY: Damn it, what is that robot's problem.  
ZIM: GIR, YOU HORRID FILTH-BRAIN! TURN THAT OFF!

The camera turns off and back on again and the audience can find Danny still ignited in green flames, looming over Zim, this time without the offensive music.

ZIM: How say you? Why, what care I? If thou canst nod, speak too. If charnel houses and our graves must send those that we bury back, our monuments shall be the maws of kites.

Danny turns incorporeal and disappears into the ceiling.

GAZ: Nicely done, Zim, nicely done…What, quite unmanned in folly?

ZIM: If I stand here, I saw him.

GAZ: Fie, for shame!

Gaz helps him to his feet.

ZIM: Blood hath been shed ere now, i' th' olden time, ere humane statute purged the gentle weal; ay, and since too, murders have been performed too terrible for the ear. The time has been that, when the brains were out, the man would die, and there an end. But now they rise again with twenty mortal murders on their crowns and push us from our stools. This is more strange than such a murder is…I'm really trying hard here.

GAZ: Yes, well, I hope I properly motivated you... My worthy lord, your noble friends do lack you.

ZIM: I do forget…

Zim turns to face everyone else, who are all staring in amazement at how strange he had been acting.

ZIM: Do not muse at me, my most worthy friends. I have a strange infirmity, which is nothing to those that know me. Come, love and health to all. Then I'll sit down. Give me some wine. Fill full.

Danny is about to float back through the ceiling but then stops when Gir begins the stupid song again and everyone groans. The camera then cuts off again.

A/N: Scene to continue next time I'm not lazy!


	17. Act 3 Scene 4 pt 2

AN: I, too, am sleep deprived. In all honesty, I had no idea what to do with this part, so I just decided to do whatever with it. I had a lot of great things happen to me as of late, so that boosted me for writing. Hopefully the next part will be up soon; I have a good idea of what to do for it, and if you know what the next scene in the play is like, you'll get a pretty good idea of what's in store for the characters next.

…..

Tak was the first one to notice that whenever they tried to move the base speakers Gaz's iPod was in, the one Gir had now stolen for his own annoying purposes, it was indeed stuck to the table. The robot had actually screwed it in place. They also couldn't take it out of the base, as it was tacky glued into the slot.

"Damn it all," Tak said and turned to Gir, "Why would you go to such lengths as to do all of this? This does look a little like overkill just to keep your music going."

"Aww," Gir said, "But I like my music. I didn't want anyone to take it away, like the last time I tried to play music somewhere."

"What happened last time?"

"Well, I took my magical music table to this grocery store…and I played it really loud…and this old lady whined…and the manager told me I had to leave, but I said, 'NoIlovemywhaleyoucan'ttakehimfromme,' and then I turned the volume up reeeeel loud, and then this guy's head exploded from listening to it…he was all purple and stuff, like a grape."

"Gir, listen to me," Tak said, trying very hard to be patient while explaining in terms he could understand, "While you may appreciate your music, it's getting in the way of your master's movie and making him and everyone else unhappy. You do understand we're trying to make a movie, right?"

Gir only responded with a vacant expression. How could he have not understood that? Tak thought. She walked away, trying to think of what to do to stifle this awful noise.

"Take the damn thing and throw it into the lake," Gaz told her, walking up to her and taping her shoulder.

"But isn't that your music player?" Tak asked.

"I don't care," Gaz said, shaking her head, "It's essence has been corrupted and is infecting the movie. He's just going to bring it back and annoy us further with that STUPID SONG!" She turned her head so that Gir could hear her shout.

Tak sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Alright," Tak said, "It has to be done." She walked over and tried to pick up the table by the ends. She awkwardly drug it to the door, its weight pulling on the muscles within her arms and the irritating music grating upon her ears. Dib walked over and helped push, but nothing could stray Tak's agitation of spirit.

Something else was on her mind.

They loaded it into the Membrane truck. Tak took the keys from Dib and started the engine. She was trying to get past the music, hoping it would be drowned out once she got in, but it could still be heard within a five mile radius.

"Want me to come with you?" Dib asked, "I'll suffer through this as well."

"You need to stay and make sure Gir doesn't do any further damage," Tak said, holding her forehead.

"Gaz has it taken care of," Dib said, "Besides, you need some help hauling that table." She invited him in, her desire for solitude shattered.

The two drove on, finding it useless to talk to each other over the blaring music. People they would stop next to at stop lights looked at them strangely, wondering why a blue haired goth chick and large-headed nerdy man would ever want to listen to such horrid sounds that seemed to come from the depths of all things chaotic and irksome. The two would then just give them a defeated glance, hoping—praying—it would all be over soon.

They finally made it to Duck Lake, a large body of water located in a ravine within the Colorado hills. The tires kicked up quite a bit of sand whenever the truck came to a rushed halt. The two got out, quickly dragged the offending musical table of doom from the back and hurried it into the shallow water. On the count of three, they hurled it into the lake, the water being the only thing to muffle its hideous noise.

"Whales belong in the water," Dib said, making Tak laugh a bit but not deterring her thoughts from the nightmares.

She realized years ago that she wouldn't have given a rat's behind if the planet were torn to shreds by demons, that it was a hunk of dirt filled with ignorant monkeys who had it coming. Now, it was all she knew and all she cared to preserve. It was her giant hunk of dirt, whether she had successfully invaded or not. But how could her newfound friends or the love of her life stand up to these monstrosities? Their power had been brooding since Earth's creation.

Then she looked up. The sky was a bright blue, with a handful of puffy clouds that resembled Mimi's cat form, the one Tak picked out for her because she thought it would be cute yet intimidating. The sun shot blinding rays, reflected on the small, rippling waters. The grassy hills were lined with dark green trees, full of life and taking in those ultraviolet beams of light. It then occurred to her that life always continued; the planet had suffered so much, whether by disaster, by man, or by spectral evils, yet always continued to find a way to harvest new growth. In this scene, a beautiful sign of everything good and the greater Eye's watch, that she and Dib had it in them to overcome even the worst obstacles, the same way this dirt ball had for several millennia.

"Are you okay?" Dib asked, concern in his voice. She looked up at him and into those light brown eyes she always enjoyed seeing before she fell asleep in his arms each night.

"Yeah," Tak said, wading through the water and wrapping him in her arms, "I'm more than okay now. Let's just enjoy this brief moment of peace before facing Zim's terrible acting and that stupid robot again."

His lady had the weirdest of mood swings, but Dib still loved her nonetheless.

…….

Act 3, Scene 4 continued!!!!

DANNY: So I'll just float down through the ceiling again and…oh crap, we're rolling.

Danny gets back into position. He then floats out of the ceiling at Zim again, but he doesn't notice right away.

GAZ: (under her breath) Don't forget what I said Zim; pick your screws.

ZIM: I drink to the general joy o' th' whoooooooole table, and to our dear friend Banquo, whom we miss; would he were here! To all and him we thirst, and all to all and all and all and all…and stuff.

LORDS: Our duties, and the pledge.

The group drinks their glasses of wine. Then Zim looks up again and sees Danny's bleeding body hovering along the ceiling yet again.

ZIM: AAAH! Go! And get out of my sight! Cover yourself in dirt; I don't care! Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold. Thou hast no speculation in those eyes which thou dost glare with!

GAZ: Meh, I guess that was okay…Think of this, good peers, but as a thing of custom. 'Tis no other; only it spoils the pleasure of the time.

ZIM: What human dare, I dare. Approach thou like the rugged Russian bear, the armed rhinoceros, th' Hyrcan tiger, or a Blorchian rat man; take any shape but that, and my firm nerves shall never tremble. Or be alive again, and dare me to the desert with thy sword. If trembling I inhabit then, protest me the baby of a girl. Hence, horrible shadow demon thing! Unreal mockery, HENCE! THE GHOST SHALL LISTEN TO ZIM!

Danny disappears into the ceiling. There is an awkward silence, and the lords look completely uncomfortable.

ZIM: Why so, being gone, I'm normal! See?! Doo dee doo dee doo!

He does a small, uneasy jig. Gaz punches him in the arm, making him stop and wince in pain.

ZIM: Pray you sit still.

GAZ: You have displaced the mirth, broke the good meeting, with most admired disorder.

The tone Gaz takes sounds almost as if she's saying it herself out of character.

ZIM: (to everyone, trying harder to stay in character) Can such things be, and overcome us like a summer's cloud, without our special wonder? You make me strange even to the disposition that I owe, when now I think you can BEHOLD such sights, and keep the natural ruby of your cheeks, when mine is blanched with fear.

ROXAS: What sights, my lord?

GAZ: I pray you, speak not. He grows worse and worse. Question enrages him. At once, good night. Stand not upon the order of your going, but go at once.

COSMO: Good night, and better health attend his majesty! WEEEEE!

Cosmo flies out of the room, his butt in the air.

GAZ: A kind good night to all!

Everyone leaves except Zim and Gaz.

ZIM: It will have blood, they say. Blood will have blood. Zim understands and loves revenge, but when it is from ghost beasties, such things Zim does not like. Stones have been known to move, and trees to speak. Augurs and understood relations have by magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth the secret'st man of blood.—What is the night?

GAZ: Almost at odds with morning, which is which.

ZIM: How say'st thou that Macduff denies his person at our great bidding?

GAZ: Did you send to him, sir?

ZIM: Zim hears it by the way, but Zim…er, Macbeth will send. There's not a one of them but in his house I keep a servant fee'd. I will tomorrow— and betimes I will—to the weird spoody sisters. More shall they speak, for now I am bent to know, by the worst means, the worst. For Macbeth's own good, all causes shall give way. I am in blood stepped in so far that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er. Strange things I have in head, that will to hand, which must be acted ere they may be scanned.

GAZ: You lack the season of all natures, sleep.

All of the sudden, Zim gets excited and picks Gaz up in his arms. A shocked look goes across Gaz's face, not one of anger, as she's too surprised for that.

ZIM: Come, we'll to sleep together. My strange and self-abuse is the initiate fear that wants hard use. We are yet but young in deed. Soon, Macbeth shall know the true power of murder and conquering. Today, Scotland. Tomorrow, the planet. Muahahahahaha!!!...hehe…he

The camera is still rolling; the cameraman got distracted by a rare beetle for him to eat again.

GAZ: You did better today; I'll try and give you the benefit of the doubt.

ZIM: So Zim gets screwage then?

GAZ: Sure. You may be irritatingly dimwitted at times, but what I do without you?

ZIM: Zim's brain is far superior to the average human's. How can that possibly be dimwitted?

GAZ: Well, you have a point; the average person is pretty stupid. I mean, look at the camera guy over there.

All of the sudden, there is a loud rumbling and several varying sounds coming from the wall. The stones of the wall then burst into a million pieces, revealing the bright sunny sky, along with the entire Denver Zoo. Gir is also there, holding the soaking wet table with the iPod still in it, this time with it attached to some even larger speakers out on the street and blaring another Raffi song, "Joshua Giraffe." The animals proceed to stampede through the studio and overrun it with destruction, biting, and feces dropping.

GIR: I'M A FRIEND OF THEIR FRIEND!

ZIM: GIR, YOU FOOL! RETURN THESE EARTH BEASTS AT ONCE!

GIR: NOOOOO! THEY WANT TO BE IN DA MOVIE TOOOOOO!!!!

The camera then falls over, and the screen turns black.


	18. Act 3 Scene 5

**Ugh, done. Finally, I have it done. I've been going through so much to finish this chapter and still feel like it's not really that great. The characters don't act anything like they do in the show, and there's not much story development. Of course, one has to take into account that adults don't act anything like their younger selves and can express their feelings easier. There are elements here where Gaz is still Jhonen Vasquez's vision and then there are moments of which she's the sweet-natured Melissa Fahn (voice of Gaz who also played Glenda in one production of "Wicked"), and that was the desired effect. I want characters who may have previously had only two dimensions to become well rounded and only hope that was what I created here.**

**And if it comes across as somewhat nonsensical, I'm going to blame the heat this time rather than my lack of writing capability. It's so freaking hot where I live that I'm having trouble thinking straight. I'm going to call the repair person tomorrow to see if I can't get my air conditioning fixed. This is bloody ridiculous.**

………………………………………………………………………………..

"Poetry in general seems to have sprung from two causes, each of them lying deep in our nature. First, the instinct of imitation is implanted in man from childhood, one difference between him and other animals being that he is the most imitative of living creatures, and through imitation learns his earliest lessons; and no less universal is the pleasure felt in things imitated." – Aristotle, "Poetics"

"You know what your daddy said, Patti?...Well, 60 days ago, she was such a lovely child; now here she is with a gun in her hand." – Patti Smith, cover of "Hey Joe"

Gaz sat on the beach, in her long dress, playing her GS5 and psyching up for her part. The nightmares were getting worse; she was beginning to see how the horrors from the sea and stars were going to encroach upon the world. She saw monsters standing 200 feet tall decimate cities in minutes, giving no one time to escape, their minds, their culture, their lives incinerated. The creatures from beyond would soon take hold of what used to be theirs.

And every night, Gaz would wake up in cold sweat. She would try to quell the terrors with coffee, but that still did not remove the restlessness from each of these dreaded nights. What was making it worse was a major drawing force between these nightmares, this being the vision of a dark humanoid figure that flew amid the carnage on thin, black wings, like a moth. Occasionally, it would interact with her, telling her of events to come and when they would happen. He called himself Indrid Cold, but he must have had other names, names that would transcend mankind. He was the embodiment of chaos, and with him was the destruction of the world.

"Gaz," Dib said, "They're ready to film when you are." His face showed signs of concern. His sister was beginning to look worse, and despite her tough façade, she was beginning to show it. It did not help matters that he knew exactly what it was that was ailing her, yet he still felt it was his duty to stop it. His noble spirit of conquering these horrible monsters that lay beyond the reaches of the common man's imagination still lingered, even with the ever present dread of his sister's condition. "Hey, don't worry. We'll stop whatever's happening. The B.P.R.D. are sending a team over to Syria right now to check it out."

"Then you better recall them," Gaz said, "if you don't want any needless death. How many people besides you have been to Alhazred's tomb? What if there have been some changes since all of this crap has been happening?"

"Well," Dib said, "There was one other person, the famous terrorist Shego, and she hasn't been the same sense, nor does she remember anything. Sure, we don't really know the full potential of what we're up against, but we've got to try something, right? We can't just let them take our world. We're sending a fully armed squad in there, all of them trained paranormal investigators."

The threat to the earth was no longer the pathetic attempts from some fool hardy alien; this time, it was a genuine menace to the human race, and Dib knew it. Gaz's problem was obviously that she knew it, too.

She sighed, knowing what was coming.

"Alright," she said, shutting her game's screen, "I'm ready. Let's do this." She walked down the dark beach, the only lighting coming from the propped up lamps, giving better lighting for the cameras. Zim was helping to set them up, seeing as how he felt he really should do something since he was not in this scene and was getting used to being the center of attention, just as he had always wanted. As long as he was close to the camera, he was happy, as he was starting to catch on to the idea that this recognition would continue to fuel his power hungry ego.

"Gaz," Tak said, walking up to Gaz as she made her way down to the setup, "are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Gaz responded, "I'll be okay; I've been trying to psych up for this one for awhile."

"It's just I know what that statue does to you," Tak said, "And does to me. Dib's worried about you as well. Hell, even Mandy's worried."

Mandy looked over at them while she was helping Zim set up the lights. Her face didn't show it, but behind her eyes, there was genuine concern.

"I'll be fine, Tak," Gaz said, "Don't worry."

But she wasn't, especially not whenever she saw the top part of the statue floating in the water.

Mandy left the light and joined Gaz in her position, Olga following behind her with an even greater nervousness that something terrible would happen when her friend's eyes fell upon that statue.

Act 3, Scene 5: a beach on the shores of Scotland.

Gaz, Mandy, and Olga are performing their various rituals around a large black caldron resting above a fire they made in the sand. Gaz pulls out her anachronistic Game Slave, keys something in, and causes a rune to generate from its screen. Gaz then pulls the holographic rune from the screen and makes it float into the soupy caldron. Mandy pulls Mr. Snuggles the hamster from the cleavage her corset was giving her and casually drops him into it as well. Olga begins performing the new dance she had coordinated to Pusifer's music, but the orchestra would actually find a way to work around it in the final edit and create a new melody to it. Her dance seems to cause more floating runic shapes to float around her. These runes then fly into the air and straight out to the ocean. Out of the blackness comes a 15-foot tall looming statue in the shape of the ancient Cthulhu. Gaz noticeably flinches at the sight of this, but the audience cannot see whether she is acting or if it is genuine fear. The statue's eyes glow with a small amber light.

GAZ: (collecting herself) Why, how now, Hecate! You look angerly.

The Cthulhu statue has a booming voice that echoes across the beach and far into the void of the night's sky. It is actually the voice of Jorgen, but the amplifier makes it sound much more intimidating, giving it an otherworldly quality.

CTHULHU: Have I not reason, beldams as you are? Saucy and overbold, how did you dare to trade and traffic with Macbeth in riddles and affairs of death, and I, the mistress of your charms, the close contriver of all harms, was never called to bear my part, or show the glory of our art? And, which is worse, all you have done hath been but for a wayward son, spiteful and wrathful, who, as others do, loves for his own ends, not for you. But make amends now. Get you gone, and at the pit of Acheron meet me i' th' morning. Thither he will come to know his destiny. Your vessels and your spells provide, your charms and everything beside. I am for the air. This night I'll spend unto a dismal and a fatal end. Great business must be wrought ere noon. Upon the corner of the moon there hangs a vap'rous drop profound. I'll catch it ere it come to ground. And that distilled by magic sleights shall raise such artificial sprites as by the strength of their illusion shall draw him on to his confusion.

Gaz is clearly shaking in every limb, barely able to stand. Her dark sisters, Mandy and Olga, rush to hold her up, but she tries to shrug them off, as if to say, "I'm okay." The monstrous statue continues its lines.

CTHULHU: He shall spurn fate, scorn death, and bear his hopes 'bove wisdom, grace, and fear. And you all know, security is mortals' chiefest enemy.

There can be heard across the beach, seemingly coming from the sky, the whine of some rusty flute playing an irritatingly flat note, all the while a haunting choir of unknown voices sing, "Come away, come away." Various shapes and horrible things float within the clouds, but they're so small, the audience can't quite make out what they are.

CTHULHU: Hark! I am called. My little spirit, see, sits in a foggy cloud and stays for me.

Gaz is trying to compose herself to ready for the next line. The statue then retreats back into the ocean until it is barely visible beneath the waves.

GAZ: Come, let's make haste; she'll soon be…

There is a loud crash. Zim has knocked over one of the lights.

GAZ: DAMMIT, ZIM, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!

There is a moment of silence all around.

ZIM: Umm, I'm sorry.

GAZ: I WANT YOU OFF THE FUCKING SET, YOU PRICK!

Zim stands in silence, shuttering at the horror Gaz has turned into and the stress, anguish, and agitation she carries behind her from having been broken from a stressful moment. Even Mandy, who generally would show no ounce of fear, is genuinely terrified by the raw magnitude of Gaz's anger, and the camera shows this, while the audience can still see Gaz's anger all throughout her face.

GAZ: WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH YOU!? DID YOU EVEN COMPREHEND THAT IT WOULD BE DISTRACTING TO ME!?

ZIM: I was…looking at the light.

GAZ: AND HOW WAS IT!?

ZIM: It was okay?

GAZ: OH, GOOD, GOOD, BECAUSE IT'S USELESS NOW! LOOK YOU NEED TO STAY OFF THE SET IF YOU'RE NOT ACTING! YOU'RE A NICE GUY AND GOOD IN BED, BUT THAT DON'T CUT IT WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE A MOVIE!

There is another long pause as Zim slowly walks away from the set, escaping the dark fiery energy that is Gaz's negativity. He takes one last look at her, and the audience can see his squeely spooge sink as he disappears from sight. The director is telling Gaz that we need to break for a minute.

GAZ: No I don't need another minute. Let's take it from my last line. Fucking asshole.

The director then says he doesn't want to until Gaz has had time to recuperate and that they would edit the scene later. The camera finally shuts off.

SCENE CUT!!!

Gaz had not only exerted herself too far mentally, but it was evident to everyone around her that she was on her last leg and about to collapse. Everything about the night had been draining for her, from seeing the thing of her nightmares to her boyfriend ruining the scene. Her body was not about to take much more of it.

Mandy and Olga picked Gaz up and took her back to her chair.

"Damn, Gaz," Olga said, "I knew you had a temper, but that wasn't you out there."

"Even I wouldn't have drained that much energy on Zim," Mandy said, "I don't think he quite deserved that, and for that matter, nor did we."

Gaz rubbed her head. She was beginning to realize just what she had done. Not only did she frighten everyone on the set, but she hurt the only man she would ever care for.

"I'm sorry," Gaz said, rubbing her head, "It's just, that scene…seeing that thing, it just took a lot out of me."

"Go home," Mandy said, "Get some rest, say your apologies to Zim if you're feeling overly generous to the pig."

"Damn it, Mandy," Olga said, "Of course she should apologize to him. So he messed up the lights; he's still her man. You can't be bitchy all the time; it's not healthy."

"Olga, it's okay," Gaz said, "I know what she means; besides, I think she's made some minor breakthroughs today in her humanity. I'll make it up to him tonight."

Gaz drove home in silence, passing through the high-rise offices and the lone refineries that had shut down for the day to the house she and Zim called home. All the while, she couldn't help but wonder both what had come over her or how she was exactly going to say 'I'm sorry' to someone who generally had just as many anger issues has she did.

When she arrived, Zim was already in bed. She had thought he might be planning some elaborate way to get back at her for not just yelling at him but giving him a glimpse of the void itself in her anger. Was he simply going to sleep on it, or was he simply that upset that he could not fathom revenge?

She was looking at him from across the unlit bedroom, standing at the door. He was lying on his side, the covers draped across him, his back facing her.

"Zim?" Gaz called out in a very humane tone, one of humility and civility.

Silence was her answer.

"Zim, are you awake?" she asked again.

There was still no response.

"Zim," Gaz continued on, "I know that you probably can't hear me, and that's going to make it less difficult for me to say this, because this is not easy to admit to another person. I am sorry for blowing up like that at you. In fact, I'm sorry for a lot of the grief I put you and everyone else through, yes, even my zealot of a brother. I know my rage carries a tremendous weight that can be less than productive for those who have to face it. I know I can be a major bitch at times. It's just, well, all my life, I've felt like I've had to put up a tough front. My mother died giving birth to me, and dad was always living his second life away from us, forcing me and my brother to fend for ourselves in that strange neighborhood. My days in skool weren't the easiest to deal with, as you're well aware of, what with a sickeningly sweet teacher, single-minded kids, and a genderless walrus for a gym instructor. Not to mention, that lobotomized chiwawa that kept following us around was pretty freaky."

She began walking towards the bed and, upon reaching the lump of blankets, sat down next to the only man she could say this to.

"The only defense mechanism I had was to toughen up. I had to become stronger than the horrible forces around me, to become scarier than all the monsters that had been plaguing my neighborhood. There were many times I would simply ignore the threats over which my brother obsessed, partially because of my true belief that I was stronger than them and partially because of indifference. Maybe in reality, I was scared to face the truth that eventually, there would be a major threat to this world, one that I couldn't face when it finally hit me and one for which my brother couldn't find a solution.

"Yeah, I try to be tough, and I like to think that I am. But I'm still a woman, and I'm still human. That probably doesn't mean much to you, but try to understand what I'm saying. I can't go through this alone. The last thing I would want to do is hurt you, no matter how angry I can get at you at times. I need you and love you. Please, Zim, forgive me."

She reached her hand to touch his shoulder, only to be met with thin air. Her hand had gone through his shoulder and into his seemingly hollow body. She began waving her arm and saw that her arm continued to go back and forth through him. The lights in the room came on, and Zim's body vanished. It was merely a hologram of Zim's visage.

"You are human," Gaz heard Zim say from behind her as she turned around to face him, "I've had that in my head since the beginning of our love adventure. It's also not hard to miss that you have a temper and that the fall of a minor salt grain can trigger it. My dropping of the light was just the proverbial straw to break the camel's back."

"Zim," Gaz said, "You tricked me."

"Yes, Gaz," Zim said, "I knew you weren't going to say anything like that to my face, so I made a minor conditional test. Think of it as my way of getting back at you. Yes, I may have messed up the scene, but any minor setbacks are not going to keep this movie from being made. Your Aristotle was the one who said what separates you humans from the other stink beasts of this planet is the fact that you like to imitate other life in order to tell some universal truth. What allows you to do that in these movies of yours is the fact that the character you play has some semblance to yourself outside of filming, in this case your agitation.

"Yeah," Gaz said, looking down at her feet, "this movie is one of the things distracting me from the world outside."

"And I'll admit," Zim said, "it's given me the opportunity to become more recognized by the world. The closer I am to a camera the better. And yes, I'll admit to you that I have flaws and that my plans can backfire sometimes, but that's what has just made me try harder over the years, knowing that I'm great and powerful enough to succeed, and if something is trying to take this world from Zim, then I'm going to defend my claim of it."

"Yeah," Gaz said, laughing nervously, "I've noticed that."

"And the only reason I admit this to you," Zim continued, "is because that you are my love pig and that I know that you know that I could melt your face off if you told anyone I admitted to being flawed."

"You try that, and you know I'll drill holes through your eye sockets," Gaz said, giving a small smile and producing another half-hearted laugh.

"Come, my beautiful beast," Zim said, "Let us forget the night and conquer one another."

That night, they made sweet love to each other, each wrapped in the other's passion, letting their anger flow from them and dissolve into the air. The two dark spirits were entwined in something that brought them both closer to the light. They found solace there, in the blackness of the bedroom, holding each other as if their worlds had been apart for so long and had finally collided again.

"Remember those dreams we used to have?" Zim asked, stroking Gaz's bare shoulder and looking into her amber eyes.

"You mean the ones where you and I were still young," Gaz asked, "and we were rock stars fighting hordes of zombies?"

"Yes," Zim said, "Those were indeed fun dreams. Whatever happened to them?"

"I guess they left," Gaz said, "Now we're faced with different nightmares, ones I wish were just what they should be, nightmares."


	19. Act 3 Scene 6

**I've finally made yet another entry for this odd story. Yeah, I really didn't know what to do with this scene, as there's really not much to it; most productions leave it out entirely for time purposes. I think the Ian McKellen production was the only version I've seen that included it, but then it had everything.**

**Hope you enjoy. More DATR and ZAGR...I missed it, too.**

"Good morning, dear," Dib said, looking down at Tak who was laying with him in their bed, her head on his chest.

"Good morning, love," Tak said, "Did you enjoy last night?"

"Oh, I did," Dib said, "You were amazing. How did I ever end up with you?"

"Fate and frustration," Tak said, "If those bloody tallests hadn't sent me to that ship, I don't think we'd have met again."

"But you wanted to," Dib asked rhetorically, "didn't you?" To answer his question, she leaned up and kissed him, her purple eyes gazing into his.

"And you know what?" Tak asked, "Since I've been back, I really haven't thought too much about getting my revenge on Zim."

Dib cringed. He could only imagine what that damnable tyrant could be doing to his sister as they spoke. Not to mention, they were now engaged, which disgusted him even more.

Yet, was he really that bad anymore? His sister loved him, so how awful could Zim really be after so many years? Maybe he and Zim could get along after all and actually be friends for a change.

"I know," Tak said, "I think I have just the thing for a little bit of revenge."

"What did you have in mind?" Dib asked, somewhat intrigued.

With that, Tak got up and put on her purple silk robe. She then walked over to the phone, dialed a few numbers, and waited for an answer. It buzzed three times before the film director answered with grunting out a random literary title and then wanting to know why they were calling him so early in the morning.

"Well, you know that bit part you were trying to fill in for the next scene?" Tak asked, "I think I know someone who would like to be a part of it and who knows Zim fairly well and would love to see him again. Just don't let anyone know I made the suggestion."

……

Zim walked in the door and saw Gaz setting up one of the cameras. She was wearing a cute black dress that showed off her butt so well that Zim had to get a hold of himself before swooning to the floor.

"Hello, love beast," Zim said.

"You finally made it," Gaz said, leaning over and kissing him, "We've almost got everything set up."

"I'm helping with da movie today," Gir said, running in circles with a big boom microphone.

"I figured I'd give him something to do," Gaz groaned to Zim, "Otherwise, he wouldn't stop bugging me about eating dry banana cereal or travelling to Jupiter in a giant piece of pepperoni or some crap like that, I don't know."

The director then entered and said he had an important announcement. He had found the new filling role for the lord in the next scene. The door behind him opened, and Zim gasped at the red headed, vibrantly dressed monstrosity that awaited at the other end.

"Oh, no," Zim exclaimed, "in all things merciful and smelly….not…HIM…!"

"HI ZIM!" it shouted, "OH I MISSED YOU, MY BESTEST BUDDY!"

Act 3, scene 6 – Within Castle Macbeth

COSMO is buzzing around in circles, trying to remember most of his lines and shouting random things that he thinks will help him actually form an inkling of said memory, such as "GRAPES ARE DELICIOUS!" and "SPHERES ARE ROUND!" but to no avail. KEEF is already standing there, ready for the camera but not looking at Cosmo, but instead a very uncomfortable Zim.

COSMO: My former speeches have but hit your thoughts, which can interpret farther. Only I say things have been strangely borne. The gracious Duncan was pitied of Macbeth. Marry, he was dead…Why did he have to die? He was gray and fluffy, just like Philip? And the right-valiant Banquo walked too late, whom, you may say, if 't please you, Fleance killed, for Fleance fled. Men must not walk too late, because who knows if Super Toilet is still around. Who cannot want the thought how monstrous it was for Malcolm and for Donalbain to kill their gracious father? Stupid fact! How it did grieve Macbeth! Did he not straight in pious rage the two delinquents tear that were the slaves of drink and thralls of sleep? Was not that nobly done?

Just then, a boom microphone then comes on camera and smacks Cosmo in the face.

COSMO: Ah, be careful with that thing. You never know where it's been?

GIR: Aww, but I thought you liked things that were warm and fluffy. See? Isn't it soft? Just like the porcupine I left in my masters' bed last night. You know, I just didn't understand how they couldn't enjoy playing with him.

Keef then interrupts Gir with the next line. It's obvious that he's shaking in every limb, although whether from excitement or obsessive insanity is unknown.

KEEF: Oh, this is so cool…to see my bestest bestest buddy here again…The son of DUNCAN—from whom this tyrant holds the due of birth—lives in the English court and is received of the most pious EDWARD with such grace that the malevolence of fortune nothing takes from his high respect. Thither Macduff is gone to pray the holy king upon his aid to wake Northumberland and warlike SIWARD, that by the help of these—with Him above to ratify the work—we may again give to our tables meat, sleep to our nights, free from our feasts and banquets bloody knives…bloody knives? Eww…Do faithful homage and receive free honors. All which we pine for now. And this report hath so exasperated the king that he prepares for some attempt of WAR…

GAZ (off set): Well, at least he got his lines right. But I think we would need to play them back in slow motion. Ugh, this guy reminds me too much of Iggins.

COSMO: RED IS A COLOR!... Sent he to Macduff?

KEEF (becoming even more fast paced in his speech without taking a breath): Hedid, andwithanabsolute "Sir, not I," thecloudymessengerturnsmehisback, andhums, aswhoshouldsay, "You'll rue the time that clogs me with this answer."

ZIM (off set): …This horrid stink weasel is worse than I remember him.

COSMO: I LOVE PIE!... And that well might advise him to a caution, t' hold what distance his wisdom can provide. Some holy angel fly to the court of England and unfold his message ere he come, that a swift blessing may soon return to this our suffering country under a hand accursed!

KEEF: I'LLSENDMYPRAYERSWITHHIM!!!...Ohh, I can't take it ANYMORE! Come on, ZIM! GIVE YOUR BESTEST BUDDY A HUG!!!

Keef then runs at the camera and knocks it over. There is a slight static to the screen and sounds of struggle and Zim's screams before the camera cuts off.

Scene cut.

Some moments later, Gaz was resting her head on Zim's lap as he sat traumatized in his lawn chair. She tried to smile up at her evil love, but it didn't seem that not even her revealing dress would take his mind from the terror of Keef.

"Don't worry, Zim," Gaz said, stroking her finger in circles on his knee, "I took good care of Keef after that little stunt he tried to pull."

"What did you do?" Zim said, his voice trembling.

"Oh, I gave him a little something to mellow out," she responded and kissed him on what little a nose he had, "It was just a small sedative that he needed."

About ten miles away, sitting on the floor outside his hotel room, Keef was staring at the wall, drool coming out of his mouth.

"Is this real life?" Keef asked himself as the room spun in circles. He also saw the floor turn to sand in which a giant boar crawled out of it. Batman and Beetlejuice were having a game show at one end of the hall and at the other end was a scarecrow telling him to watch out for the evil pocket comb that flew from the black hole. Out of all of this, however, he was happy in his own little fantasy world. He only wished that Zim was there to enjoy the beautiful insanity with him.


End file.
